


if our stars would meet

by littlelooneyluna



Category: robron
Genre: Angst, Daddy!Aaron, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, drug addiction references, fake dating au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-07 11:02:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 32,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15217742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelooneyluna/pseuds/littlelooneyluna
Summary: at just 19, aaron is a single parent who desperately wants to prove himself to social services, and pretending to date his friend’s seemingly put together older brother might just do the trick.





	if our stars would meet

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this a while ago, but editing took an age. enjoy!

 

The thing is, apparently he’s a child. He’s just another kid who’s had a kid and there’s nothing that anyone can do for him.  
  
He’s sick of hearing it all really, he’s sick of all the prodding and pushing by anyone who can get to him. It’s on him though, and he knows that, deep down, maybe too deep down does he know that no one can be there for his little girl more than he can.  
  
He’s got his feet up on the table as he watches his mum talk on the phone to Moira about what’s going on. She’s losing it at the moment and Aaron would say something if he cared about what Moira thought of him.  
  
But he doesn’t, he’s learnt not to pay attention to the insults she throws at him but sometimes, when she goes and outright _blames_ him for _Holly_ -  
  
He loses his rag.  
  
It happened at the hospital when Bella was born, when Moira was elbowing her way to the front of the queue to see her granddaughter and Aaron was pushed aside like he didn’t matter. Only he did.  
  
He _does_ matter.  
  
He _still_ matters now, three years later, and granted not a lot has changed, but he _can_ be a dad to her when he’s given half the chance. It’s not like he’s a dead beat, but he’s also nineteen and doesn’t have anything to give her.  
  
It’s not like he can give her a mum either can he?  
  
He’s shaken from his thoughts by his mum kicking at his leg. “You’re so flipping stupid.” She’s saying, hand on hip like she’s a headteacher. He wouldn’t mind being back at school if it meant all this would stop.  
  
“How?” Aaron asks, frowning almost suddenly and burying himself a little further into the sofa.  
  
Apparently it’s the wrong answer. “You _let_ them take her away.” She’s screaming and Aaron’s cringing and he’s back there again.  
  
They’re _taking_ Bella because he’s too young, and Cain’s well known dodginess makes Moira not viable for full custody and ‘perhaps it’s just easier to place her in a foster home for now.’  
  
The idea makes Aaron’s stomach churn over and over again and yeah, _okay_ he cried as she left but that’s only because _she_ was a mess and didn’t understand what was going on.  
  
That haunts him, her being so fucking confused.  
  
Aaron raises his head slowly. “I’m her dad. I decide what’s best for her.”

  
Only that earns a scoff. “Oh _really_? You’re letting the _social_ decide what’s best for her because you can’t face up to -“  
  
“To what? Me being the only one she has now that her mum’s topped herself?”  
  
There’s really no _need_ to go there. Everyone knows about what happened to Holly and he can’t help but hate himself. He didn’t know, he didn’t realise that she was still using despite the fact that they had a _daughter_ who needed them.  
  
He’d also be lying if he said he didn’t feel painful amounts of guilt for not easing the load, forming a proper relationship with his child when Holly was still around.  
  
But it was her, it was always Holly involved and Aaron waving hello from across the street. Because he was younger, and he was stupid, and she wanted to be independent enough to raise Bella by herself.  
  
Chas’ eyes flicker now, she decides that she’s Mother Of The Year or something and makes this disappointed face. “All of us are gutted by what happened to Holly, but you know who’s hurting the most? That little girl, _your_ little girl.”  
  
Aaron knows that, he also knows that he’s in no fit state to take her on full time despite all the fucking _help_ he’ll get.  
  
“Which is why it’s best she’s away from me.” It makes sense, only no one seems to understand that and Aaron’s sick of explaining.  
  
“Love, I know it’s scary. And I know you’ve not got your head around being -“  
  
He doesn’t want to hear it so he doesn’t, he stands, pulls his coat on and heads for the door.  
  
There’s a rush of relief when he hears it slam.  
  
••  
  
He kisses Holly and it makes the other feelings go away for a second, until her lips are too soft and her arms are too weak and he doesn’t want her.  
  
He wants a boy to replace her.  
  
He wants to kiss a fucking boy instead.  
  
••  
  
Vic’s the only mate he really has which is tragically true. She’s the only one who hasn’t tried to shake it all out of him and he respects that about her.  
  
Even though she’s daft.  
  
“Your ears should be bleeding.” Vic joins him on the bench, wafts her hand up as Aaron smokes.  
  
Aaron frowns at her a little and she smiles. “Andy and Diane were talking about Bella being taken, everyone’s got an opinion. Soz.” Her face falls a little like she’s realised she shouldn’t be talking at all.  
  
Aaron just shrugs. “She wasn’t taken. I let her go with them, you know, for the best like.” He blinks quickly, and it still makes sense to him.  
  
His mind is dark and murky and everything about him is still this massive secret and - doesn’t deserve to be dragged into this.  
  
“Because of what happened to Holly?”  
  
And it’s more than that. It’s more than the fact that she’s gone, that they never really got to sit and talk about being young stupid parents and have a laugh. It’s the fact that he can’t even be angry at her can he? He can’t shout and scream at her for being _careless_ and _stupid_ because he’s just the same.  
  
He was the one late for the birth because he was out selling drugs and staring at blokes from a bar across town.  
  
It’s the fact that Bella had already lost the most fortunate thing she could have ever had in her whole life and she’s left with _him_.  
  
“And me.” Aaron explains, digs a hand in his pocket. “I’m not good enough to be there for her.”  
  
She’s not a baby anymore either, she _knows_ who he is and that just makes all of this even harder.  
  
“I have to do this Vic. For her.”  
  
And Vic even starts looking unsure.  
  
••  
  
_‘ “Is it true daddy?” Bella’s got Holly’s eyes, Holly’s dimples, everything of hers and it aches to do this to her.  
  
He’s crying, he’s a fucking weak kid who has a kid of his own and he has to break her heart.  
  
He holds her little hand and nods as she blinks quickly at him. “Mummy’s - she’s in the sky watching us right now but she can’t - she can’t be here anymore okay?”  
  
He wanted to tell her on his own, owed her that much but now it just swims through him as she starts to cry and that’s the only thing he’s passed on isn’t it?  
  
She falls into his chest and he hugs her like he never has before.  
  
He’s kept distance, he’s loved her so much from afar because he’s fucking rubbish at this but she still knows what he’s supposed to do. She knows that her dad is supposed to hug her and tell her it’s going to be okay.  
  
And he manages to do just that, before the walls close in again. ‘_  
  
••  
  
Holly got pregnant when he was only sixteen, three whole years ago and yet it’s like everything has stayed the same.  
  
Even now, tucked up in his room and away from absolutely everyone else, it feels like he’s only sixteen and doesn’t have a clue what to do with a baby.  
  
Only she’s not just a baby anymore, she’s not just Holly’s, she’s his.  
  
She’s his child and she needs him and -  
  
She’s not with him is she?  
  
Aaron kicks something hard against his bed and it rattles something deep inside him, churns his stomach round and around until he closes his eyes and sees Bella staring back it him.  
  
She’s beautiful, soft, yet he knows that she can be mouthy and loud and that terrifies him. That’s _him_ in here and then he can’t handle that so he doesn’t.  
  
Instead he buries any thoughts of him being a decent dad, he tells Cain to fuck off when he tries to intervene, allows Moira to blame him for whatever she wants to.  
  
And yeah, he hates himself for it.  
  
He especially hates when he gets a message off fucking _Grinder_ and realises that he’s spending the night talking to a bloke who is seemingly very proud of his penis.  
  
Yeah, Bella deserves better than a fuck up for a dad.  
  
••  
  
It’s been nearly a month since she’s been gone and Aaron’s due to see her tomorrow.  
  
Apparently she’s been distant, grouchy, a little bit volatile and Aaron hates how they describe her as if she’s some sort of dog.  
  
He also hates how she’s a child with issues, fucked up parents. But there’s little he can do about it is there?  
  
Instead, he dares himself to have a drink in a bar, one with gay men everywhere, one where he probably looks lost.  
  
He buries his head down into his pint and tries to move along with the atmosphere, he feels like he’s drowning though, like someone will spot him and just _know_ that he doesn’t fit in.  
  
That he’s knew to all of this, that he hasn’t even _been_ with a bloke before.  
  
It rattles something desperate inside of him until some bloke is buying him a drink and looking like he wants to rip his clothes off.  
  
“You not got anywhere to be tonight?” The bloke is lucky Aaron’s even talking to him to be perfectly honest, he’s a lot older, looks almost forty and Aaron’s hands are already sweating.  
  
It only gets worse when the bloke is overbearing and moves into kiss Aaron’s neck sloppily.  
  
His phone is a lifesaver, well his _mum_ is and when he answers, the bloke seems to get the hint and fucks off.  
  
“Mum?” He can’t hear her, pushes outside and into the dark night as she rabbits on about being at the hospital. “Woah, are you -“  
  
“It’s Bella love, she’s - she’s been hit by a car!”  
  
And Aaron’s heart seems to just stop beating.  
  
••  
  
Moira’s there with Cain and Chas when he arrives, but he doesn’t seem to give a shit, pushes passed them and asks to see her.  
  
“Bella’s had a very lucky escape, the car seemed to have knocked her out but she’s no where near as badly hurt as we first imagined.”  
  
He takes it as good news, wipes at his face and the tears building up in his eyes.  
  
He even takes the hand on his shoulder that his mum presses down shakily and suddenly it’s like this weight has been pounded into him.  
  
And he loves her too much to let anyone take her again like that.  
  
It’s what he says to her social worker, a meek looking woman wearing a yellow cardigan. She seems nice enough, only she doesn’t fucking get it.  
  
“I understand that you’re angry Aaron, of course you are but you need to calm down.”  
  
“Calm down?” Aaron’s shaking, “I let you _take_ her because I thought she was safer with _you_. And you let a car knock her out?”  
  
He gets that it’s not as easily linked as that, he understands but it doesn’t stop him from shouting.  
  
“I want her home with me.” Aaron says suddenly, and his mum practically cheers from the side of the room. “I mean it.”  
  
The social worker - _Laura_ \- just nods her head as if she’s taking note of it.  
  
“Why don’t you go see her? Then we can talk properly.”  
  
And he does, she’s laying there with her hair all unruly and spread out against the bed and she looks so small.  
  
“Hey Belle.” Aaron’s useless, he’s useless and yet she smiles at him like he’s a Disney Princess. “Oh God.” He pulls a hand over his mouth and walks towards the bed, flopping down slightly and holding her close to him.  
  
He shakes, because he’s a joke of a dad and he hasn’t seen her in too long.  
  
“You okay now?” Aaron asks her, and he doesn’t expect her to say anything, he doesn’t expect her to want to fucking know him.  
  
But she keeps surprising him, pulls Aaron down and wraps her arms right around his neck.  
  
“The car didn’t even hurt.” She says, almost proudly. “I didn’t even _cry_.”  
  
He gasps playfully as he pulls away and his hands shake as he holds her hands together and sniffs.  
  
“That’s - that’s my little girl.” He says, and for the first time, he sees himself in her and it’s not all bad. “My brave girl.”  
  
Bella pulls a hand in hair and keeps talking, blabbing away a little as Aaron notices the little bruises around her chin. She doesn’t seem to care.  
  
“Can I go home now with you and nana Chas?”  
  
It stops him dead a little, she’s _three_ , she’s nearly four and yet she knows what’s going on.  
  
“Laura likes me but I want to come home and -“  
  
Aaron looks out towards the window and sees Moira standing there with Laura. He’s no idiot, he knows that if Moira had it her way, Bella would be moving in with her and Aaron wouldn’t get to corrupt her.  
  
Aaron decides to be brave though, he decides that he can’t possibly not be with her now. He won’t be a coward.  
  
“Not now bug but - I promise, I’m going to do _all_ I can to let you come home okay?”  
  
Bella’s chin wobbles just a little but then she nods. “Okay.” She says, and Aaron’s staring right at the gold heart shaped necklace she is wearing.  
  
“Mummy’s with you though isn’t she?” Aaron points to the necklace and Bella lets go of Aaron’s hand to clutch it tightly and nod.  
  
It manages to make Aaron’s heart melt, and then harden because he wants this, he wants _her_ and no one can stop him from getting that chance.  
  
••  
  
“It’s all I’m asking for, a chance.” Aaron’s having a grown up meeting about it all and he’s been an hour late so he’s already not being taken seriously.  
  
Laura’s there, nice enough and everything but she doesn’t seem to give anything away.  
  
“Aaron, we can easily arrange contact with Bella, but it will have to be in a controlled setting. We can’t forget what -“  
  
And it’s not like they _have_ to bring it up do they?  
  
He knows that he’s already served time for armed fucking robbery and for dealing drugs and there’s always going to be this massive ‘maybe’ over if _he_ was the one to give Holly the drugs that ended up killing her.  
  
He hates _that_ more than anything else.  
  
“I’m not expecting you to just forget.” Aaron says. “But I want _more_ than just seeing her for a few hours every other week with your lot breathing down my neck.”  
  
Laura doesn’t seem to agree, naturally.  
  
“You’ll have the chance to bond with her, properly. In a setting where -“  
  
“Where I won’t be influenced by my druggy mates? How many _times_ do I have to tell you, I’m not involved in that anymore.”  
  
Only they can never be _sure_ of that can they?  
  
Him and Holly will always be the teenagers too mixed up in drugs for their own good.  
  
They were involved the second Holly was bought in to hospital, out of it whilst six moths pregnant. _She_ managed to convince them that she was capable though, so can he too.  
  
“You have to build this up Aaron, Bella’s happiness and safety is what we both want to secure and her being with a foster family at the moment is giving her guaranteed safety.”  
  
It makes Aaron’s stomach drop. “And I’m not?”  
  
Laura tuts, like she feels bad or something. “We’re not saying that Aaron. We know that your mother and Holly’s will also be involved but -“  
  
Aaron’s eyes flicker. “I bet she told you all about me didn’t she? Trying to get Bella off me.” His knee bounces up and down. “And now she’s shot herself in the -“  
  
“Aaron.” Laura says suddenly. “We can work to give you access to Bella, towards you being able to have her with you. Permanently. But you have to prove yourself to us.”  
  
Aaron’s eyes widen a little and he frowns. “How am I supposed to do that?”  
  
Only there’s apparently a few things he has to do.  
  
Get a place of his own.  
  
Find a job.  
  
Ideally enter into a stable and committed relationship to rival any mushy foster parents.  
  
Stay away from the police.  
  
“And - and if I turn it around? I get to have her?”  
  
Laura decides to make no promises, but she tells him she’ll do the best she can and he chooses to stop being cynical.  
  
••  
  
The getting the job bit is almost too easy. Moira doesn’t know it’s all about getting Bella back but Cain’s family and Chas bullies him into it.  
  
So he’s a proper mechanic now.  
  
The next logical step is deleting dodgy contacts on his phone and he’s halfway there when Vic decides to bother him with her issues.  
  
“You mind dropping me into town?”  
  
He does mind, considering he’s trying to sort his life out.  
  
“ _Please_ , I’m meeting my brother at his office to shake him out of his depression so -“  
  
“Andy’s working at a -“  
  
“No. Robert.”  
  
And Aaron still doesn’t give a shit.  
  
“Oh come on, Laura might want to speak to me about Bella you know, I’m sure she’d love to hear about what a _kind_ mate you are.”  
  
And he’s too weak to say no.  
  
••  
  
The office is a fucking grand place, glass panels and all that jazz.  
  
Vic’s brother has his office on the top floor and Aaron’s only out of the car because he’s nosey.  
  
“What are you doing here?”  
  
Aaron hears his voice before he sees him, but when he does, there’s something tight in his chest suddenly.  
  
He’s wearing a suit, blue patterned tie and the place smells of coffee but he doesn’t seem to care.  
  
Aaron just stands by the door as he tries to get over himself and keeps his head down.  
  
Vic talks enough for the both of them.  
  
“I’m here because you’re depressed.” Vic declares. “And Andy’s off at some farm thing so I suppose I should help one of my brother’s out.”  
  
Aaron still doesn’t care, but he raises his head and looks at the view outside just to gaze. He can’t even _think_ about how much money Robert earns, it would probably be enough to buy a house Aaron needs ten times over and it’s not fair.  
  
It’s not fair that he doesn’t get to have this sort of lifestyle and make his daughter see him as more than just the dad who gives good cuddles. He’d give her the world if he could afford it, if it meant that he could have her as his own like he rightfully deserves.  
  
He sort of hates how sudden the feeling has become, but Holly’s been dead for three months now and he needs to think of someone other than himself.  
  
He needs to make her not hate him as much as she probably does right now; watching from the sky.  
  
“ - I’m in _debt_ , deep debt. But I’m not depressed yet Vic. Trust me, you’ll be the first to know if I am.”  
  
It’s hardly reassuring, and Aaron barely hears it but when he looks up Robert is staring at him with a frown on his face.  
  
“Who’s the chav?”  
  
And Aaron _didn’t_ even hate him before that but of course he just had to ruin it.  
  
“Leave him alone, he’s got enough on his plate as it is!”  
  
It’s Vic’s way of being supportive and Aaron hates how much it means. Especially when Robert just rolls his eyes like he doesn’t care.  
  
“It’s great of you to visit but unless you have twenty five grand then -“  
  
Aaron’s eyes widen at the sum and suddenly Vic’s shouting about it enough to make him zone out. Instead he’s looking around the office, there’s a certificate of a specialised degree in management which the Sugden has a distinction in and Aaron’s mildly impressed.  
  
He seems square. Really fucking square and it makes Aaron almost laugh to think that somehow he’s ended up in debt.  
  
A lot of debt.  
  
He doesn’t really give a shit, so his mind wanders on to his own issues and he stumbles on the fact that he needs to find someone and date them.  
  
The chore of it all is almost too much to bare and Aaron entertains the possibility of being with Vic before he realises that he needs to be _honest_ with himself if this is going to work.  
  
He needs to be with a _bloke_ and it makes him cringe all over until Vic’s waving her hand too near his face and he’s drawn out of his thoughts.  
  
“- I just don’t get how you could do this? You’re successful, you’ve got a nice home, decent reputation and now you’ve gone and got yourself in debt.”  
  
Apparently it has something to do with impressing an ex and Aaron nearly laughs but it’s not meant to be funny.  
  
Robert pulls a hand over his head and sighs. He looks fucked right off and desperate and Aaron nearly feels for him.  
  
“Yeah. I know. Thanks.” Robert’s short and snappy and almost like Aaron before he shakes his head and apologises.  
  
And then he does something even more unlike Aaron and hugs Vic before promising to call her later.  
  
“I’d say it was a pleasure meeting you but -“ Robert has the ability to make Aaron feel like he’s about five. “You’ve bought mud in.”  
  
Aaron stares down the mud on the carpet and could happily punch Vic’s _poxy_ older brother but he settles on shoving past him instead and promising to never drop Vic off there again.  
  
••  
  
Bella goes and melts his heart with a card, just a picture of her and him in a garden and Holly near the clouds.  
  
He’s sent it just as he decides that he’ll never be enough for her, four pints in and only Vic entertaining him.  
  
“ _Look_. She’s - she’s so cute.” Aaron says suddenly, eyes wide as he holds the card up and Vic tells him to get a grip lovingly.  
  
“You know what I _do_ need.” And he’s a prick for telling her the way he does.  
  
He tells her he needs a boyfriend and she spits out her drink.  
  
“ _Yeah_. I’m -“  
  
“ _Gay_? Since - since -“  
  
Aaron cringes into himself and she doesn’t push him.  
  
“The social know as well - my mum found out and she thought it was a great idea to _tell_ them so -“  
  
Vic brings her knees up towards her chest. “You think admitting you’re gay will get Bella back?”  
  
Aaron rolls his eyes and sighs. It says a lot. The fact that he’s putting all his self loathing and hate aside just so he gets to have Bella with him says a fucking lot and he nods his head a little before sighing.  
  
“Being in a healthy _stable_ relationship will. So - I have to be fucking honest which is -“  
  
Vic feels for him. Of course she does.  
  
But she also has no idea how to help him.  
  
“You could pay someone, you know - like an escort.”  
  
He scoffs at that the most but she makes a fucking point.  
  
“ _Listen_ , you don’t need just _any_ old bloke. If you want someone - someone half decent than you’ll need to pay ‘em for it.”  
  
Aaron sighs hard, twitches for a second and then looks down. “Right then.” He says.  
  
“ _And_ they’ll have to be _impressive_ , like educated and respected and -“  
  
Aaron’s mind flashes back to Robert’s office.  
  
“Someone like your brother?”  
  
Vic’s eyes flicker for a second as if she’s thinking about Andy and then she sobers. “You can’t be serious?”  
  
Only he isn’t. He’s being an idiot. He’s had too many.  
  
He’s not thinking straight but maybe that’s the whole problem.  
  
“Ignore me.” Aaron laughs out, but Vic doesn’t.  
  
She apparently knows that he’s been with blokes before, Andy’s not properly clued in though.  
  
It becomes a thing she keeps banging on about and Aaron sorts it out in his head like an absolute psycho.  
  
He has pride, not a lot, but _some_ and he’s already met the idiot and been called a chav by him so he avoids it at all cost.  
  
He pushes it to the back of his mind until Laura prods too far.  
  
“You haven’t managed to move out just yet or - I take it you’re still single?”  
  
He shouldn’t have to be in one but he knows it’s going to help.  
  
“It’s okay if you’re not. I just think that it could help your case in -“  
  
“I am. As it happens.” He hates himself already, he sees Robert in his suit thinking that Aaron’s this annoying little fly and yet he drags him into this without thinking twice.  
  
“Oh?”  
  
Aaron gulps hard. “Yeah.” He says. “Early days. It’s - it’s a bloke. I’m - I’m coming to terms with it all.”  
  
And it sounds absolutely great. If only it was real.  
  
••  
  
Aaron’s hands bloody shake as he sees Robert in the pub with Vic that night. He’s not supposed to be here, now.  
  
He doesn’t get the chance to stand there with his eyes wide open staring because his mum drags him over towards the bar and demands to know how it all went with the social worker.  
  
“Sound.” Aaron offers. “I - I think I impressed her.” He shrugs a little and then feels Robert’s eyes on him from the table. It makes him bristle a little and for a second he wants to tell Robert to piss off.  
  
But instead he decides to barely look at him and shuffles outside for a smoke.  
  
He can’t get his head around the weight of his stupid lie and how he seemed to think it was a good fucking idea when alcohol was in his system.  
  
Aaron’s got a picture of Bella on his phone staring up at him and it gets him through most days, but especially now he’s gone and _lied_ with nothing to back it up with.  
  
“She your kid?”  
  
He hears it over his shoulder and he doesn’t say anything until he looks around and sees Robert standing there.  
  
He’s not in a suit and tie, opted for a relaxed pair of jeans and a red jumper with the sleeves rolled up.  
  
Aaron nods before turning back around and Robert decides to join him on the bench. “Not a fan of kids me. Like, at all.” He almost shudders and Aaron drops his head, feels like hitting himself for even thinking this could work if he asked -  
  
“Vic filled me in.” Robert tilts his head and shrugs a little. “About her being taken by -“  
  
“She wasn’t.” Aaron gets his guard up, naturally. “I let it happen, I’m not just the sad little teenage druggy you may think I -“  
  
Robert fucking laughs a little and Aaron’s heart does something funny.  
  
“How comes you think you know how I think?”  
  
“Because I know the likes of you, having it _easy_.”  
  
“Easy?”  
  
“Compared to me yeah.” Because he’s got to fight for the daughter he was never ready for.  
  
Robert shakes his head. “Whatever.” He waves a hand out and then he’s gone before Aaron can tell him anything.  
  
::  
  
He nearly bottles it, very nearly tries to convince himself that he doesn’t have to do this but Laura seems proud of his progress or whatever and that’s why he’s here.  
  
He’s outside Robert’s office waiting for him to come out of a meeting and he’s staring down at the picture of him and Bella from her first birthday.  
  
He was a baby himself back then.  
  
“He’s free now.” Some long legged woman winks at him a little and smiles too widely as she pushes open Robert’s door and it’s time for Aaron to put his chewing gum in the bin and stand a bit straighter.  
  
He decides to shoot straight despite Robert being an idiot almost as soon as he walks in.  
  
“Didn’t expect to see you. I haven’t got any money and I don’t know where Vic is so -“  
  
“I can get you that twenty five grand.” Aaron practically vomits it out and Robert’s eyes widen slightly before he scoffs.  
  
“Piss off.”  
  
“I can.” Aaron says shakily. “You need money and I can get it.”  
  
Robert looks like he’s close to entertaining it all. “What’s the catch then?”  
  
Aaron gulps hard. “I need - need you to do something for me.” He scratches his eyebrow and sighs. “I’m no stalker but I know you’re bi.” Instagram is fucking helpful. “And single and I need to get my daughter back. I want to look after her but I need -“  
  
“What’s that got to do with -“  
  
“I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend.” Aaron practically shouts it out and Robert’s face drops.  
  
“You’re - _wait_ , you’re _gay_.”  
  
And Aaron’s already sick of all the reactions so far.  
  
He doesn’t say anything until Robert blinks quickly and rests back on his chair.  
  
“Look, I know it’s insane. We don’t even _know_ each other but I can’t think of anyone else who has got their life together as much as you do.” Robert goes to speak and Aaron sighs. “I know about the debt but I can get you out of it.” He feels a lot older than nineteen and Robert seems a lot younger than however old he is.  
  
“How?” And when Aaron doesn’t say anything Robert sighs. “Illegally? Isn’t that why she’s not with you in the first place?”  
  
“I’ve got mates, they can get me into a low risk job chill out.” Aaron rubs a hand over his neck and sighs. “I’m doing all of this _for_ her, I’m trying to get her back by -“  
  
“Pretending to be with me?” Robert cranes his head. “And how will that make a difference?”  
  
Aaron goes and explains it all, like an idiot and Robert is probably laughing at him inside.  
  
“Live with me?” Robert says after a seconds. “To prove that -“  
  
“I’m stable enough to have her _yes_.”  
  
Robert stares at Aaron steely. “You’re actually serious aren’t you?”  
  
Aaron shudders slightly as he nods and there’s something pulling at his chest as Robert looks at him. He doesn’t like it one bit.  
  
But he’s got more important things to focus on.  
  
“I know it’s mad.” Aaron’s chin wobbles. “But I need this to work, ‘cause I need _her_ and I know you don’t think much of me but you don’t have to.”  
  
“Even if I’ll be your pretend boyfriend? It sounds like a big decision to -“  
  
“I know.” Aaron says, “Big decision for someone like you but - I’m desperate here.”  
  
Robert decides to not say a fucking thing and Aaron flies off the handle like usual.  
  
“Fine. Forget I even said anything.”  
  
And he goes before Robert decides to just laugh in his face and be done with it.  
  
••  
  
He’s mopey and decides to kick things and pretend their Robert.  
  
It won’t stop until the idiot himself is showing up at the pub and asking for a word.  
  
It’s been a few days of hating himself and then Robert is just there in his leather jacket and serious look.  
  
“If this is you telling me you’re not interested, you didn’t have to come all this way. I got the message.” Aaron fucking crosses his arms and Robert just stares at him before sighing.  
  
“Yeah well you got the wrong message.” Robert says quickly, leans over and Aaron’s eyes widen gratefully. “I’m desperate. Maybe as much as you. I need money and you need -“  
  
“Bella.” Aaron reminds him and Robert nods.  
  
“I’m not good with kids. In fact, I’m shit.” Robert turns bright red and Aaron’s never seen him like this before, almost insecure.  
  
Aaron rolls his eyes. “Well don’t worry, I’m hardly amazing am I?” He ignores the look on Robert’s face and sighs. “You don’t have to be though, you just have to smile at her and be charming which -“  
  
“Comes naturally, yeah.”  
  
He almost makes Aaron smile. He’s a prick.  
  
“And the money?” Robert says, “They’re closing in on me, I’ll need to know how long this could take.”  
  
Only it’s all up in the air isn’t it?  
  
“How about I make a down payment? Keeping them at bay?” Robert nods a little and Aaron bites his lip. “Five grand and you drop in my uncle’s name, they’ll leave you alone for now.”  
  
Robert blinks quickly, pulls his hands across his thighs slowly and then leans away again.  
  
“So we’re doing this?” Robert says after a few minutes and Aaron gulps hard.  
  
“No longer than two months, coming to meetings with me, making out we give a shit. Laura will see I’m in a better place and boom, I get her back.”  
  
Robert half smiles. “But you’ll have to actually get somewhere to live you know, after?”  
  
Aaron nods. He’s thought of that. “I’ll save up, plus, I’ll try and get a big job at the end that’ll make it all worth while.”  
  
Robert clearly doesn’t trust in his confidence but doesn’t say anything against it. Instead he watches Aaron for a second or two and then sighs.  
  
“This is mad.” He says. “You’re mad.”  
  
“And you’re desperate.”  
  
Robert frowns. “Oi. We both are.”  
  
Aaron watches his mum watching him from the bar and inwardly groans before looking back at Robert. “Yeah well, I’ve got a lot riding on this so we can’t mess it up okay?”  
  
And Robert seems to understand.  
  
••  
  
The thing is, they’re just fucking opposites in this really obvious way and there’s not a lot that either of them can do about it.  
  
Aaron’s a stupid kid in Robert’s eyes and yet they have to sit here and try to get to know each other like they _care_.  
  
“So your mum, she’ll lose her mind right?” Robert’s the sort of twat who likes fruity tea and Aaron hates the fact that he’s sitting opposite him with his legs crossed together.  
  
Aaron gulps hard. “She’ll flip.” He shrugs a little. “‘Cause it’s you.” Robert doesn’t even seem to be fazed. “But she wanted me to embrace the whole gay thing.” He physically cringes and Robert sighs.  
  
“What do you mean, embrace?”  
  
“I’m new to this, accepting it. Whatever.” Aaron practically blushes and Robert raises an eyebrow. “You can piss off with any comments.”  
  
Robert leaves it in favour of asking how all of this is really going to work, as if Aaron knows himself.  
  
“Well, It would make sense if we told my family. Then Laura can meet you, see how together your life is -“  
  
“ _Despite_ the debt.”  
  
Aaron nods. “And then I suppose, I move into yours until it all blows over.”  
  
Robert pulls his body up in the seat towards Aaron. “Blows over? You do realise that this is about your kid right? Don’t be stupid about this. I don’t even _like_ them and I know that you have to -“  
  
“Be serious about them? Yeah. Well I am now. So you just zip it and look like you give a toss about me _without_ the incentive yeah?”  
  
Robert sips his tea and sighs. “Suits me fine, just tell me bit about ya so I don’t look like an idiot.”  
  
••  
  
The hardest thing really is pulling off the whole believability factor.  
  
Why the heck a good looking, successful business man would look not even once let alone _twice_ at a chavy messed up teenager.  
  
It’s the obstacle that Aaron has to overcome as soon as Cain and the rest of them get their heads around the whole Gay Thing.  
  
“So you’re _gay_ , and going out with _Robert_?”  
  
You couldn’t make it up. Honestly.  
  
Aaron feels his stomach churn and he hates the fact that Robert was too much of a coward to be here with him to deliver the news. He’s working and Aaron’s left cringing against it all.  
  
There’s a deep self loathing he feels about it _all_ that he doesn’t want to even talk about but everyone wants to know.  
  
“Yeah. I am.” He’s keeping his head down, could do with a pint or something stronger as Cain just keeps frowning at him.  
  
“So this is why you and Holly didn’t work out? Why she was alone and -“  
  
Of course Moira’s piping up, angry and hurt and such a fucking good mother that it aches all over.  
  
“That’s got - got _nothing_ to do with -“  
  
Everything seems to travel through him at this uncontrollable speed and it’s like he’s feeling even more guilty which he thought was impossible.  
  
“Love. I’m happy that you’re being honest with yourself, but Robert?”  
  
It’s not even like he can list the reasons why, or fucking how they got together in the first place.  
  
“What about him?”  
  
Cain scoffs and Moira rolls her eyes.  
  
“He’s got a decent job, he’s older, more - I don’t know, responsible or whatever and I like him so -“  
  
He’s hardly selling it, but Chas just pulls the face and sighs. “I suppose it serves you right, with the social, seeing a future with someone.”  
  
And it doesn’t help that he’s nearly sick in his bloody mouth about it all.  
  
••  
  
The plan is for Robert to walk around in a suit whenever they’re together because surely that’ll make everything look more refined and serious between them.  
  
He doesn’t know all that much about him still but it’s not like they really _need_ to anyway because Chas is almost too close to figuring something out.  
  
It’s what Aaron walks in on, Chas gossiping to Marlon about him losing his mind and surely having ulterior motives or whatever.  
  
She’s right but he’s fucking angry considering he’s honestly trying to make all of this _stick_.  
  
“It’s weird, Robert’s older _yeah_ but he’s dodgy himself, and I bet he doesn’t even know that Aaron’s got a record and -“  
  
“He does.” Aaron says sharply over the bar, “So you can stop the gossiping.” Chas turns bright red and comes towards him with her arms crossed.  
  
“Is this you hitting the self destruct button?”  
  
Aaron blinks quickly, “No, it’s - it’s me -“  
  
“Distracting yourself from Bella which is the _last_ thing you should be doing right now. Robert’s probably just using ya for a good -“  
  
“Don’t think so Chas.” Aaron’s grateful for him for the first time as he walks in and sits down with them. He’s wearing this blue suit and Leyla from the table near the toilets practically has to fan herself which is embarrassing. “You alright?” Robert’s decent at all of this, squeezes Aaron’s shoulder as he looks at him and then back at Chas. “I know it’s weird but -“  
  
“He’s in the middle of trying to get his daughter back. He’s _nineteen_.”  
  
Aaron rolls his eyes and sighs hard. “Mum just -“  
  
“Yeah I know. I’m only twenty four.” He huffs. “And I support him.” Robert says suddenly, all straight tie and determined looking eyes. “So it’d be great if you didn’t add to the pressure.”  
  
Aaron smiles shyly and watches as Chas decides to get the hairdryer out and defrost herself.  
  
“Fine.” She reasons, “Only because you’re being true to yourself and that’s all I’ve wanted. Even if it is with -“  
  
“Thanks.” Aaron says, “A beer would be good now. And one for Robert as well.”  
  
••  
  
Robert fancies himself as some sort of actor it seems because he’s fucking pleased with himself.  
  
“Think she bought it?” He says, after following Aaron into the toilets.  
  
“Maybe if you keep your voice down, yeah.” Aaron’s by the sink, sort of hating himself for the fact that no one seems to be giving him a hard time for coming out.  
  
He expected more than the little teasing and the fact that no one thinks it’s _that_ big of deal only makes him feel like an idiot for not admitting it sooner.  
  
Like three years ago just before he thought having sex with a girl would make it go away.  
  
“Alright.” Robert snaps back, because he can. “Well I’m heading off now, text me when you need me parading around here again yeah?”  
  
Aaron ignores him, can’t have guilt about Robert in his head as well but then he’s calling out his name as he watches him go.  
  
“Cheers.” He says, bites his lip a little. “You were dead convincing.”  
  
Robert just shrugs. “We’ll have to be.”  
  
••  
  
He’s only able to get in contact with Bella through her drawings and he hates that he can’t hold her.  
  
He also hates the fact that Moira still seems intent on getting custody for herself and even Cain can’t change her mind.  
  
Fighting against her isn’t as easy as fighting against himself though. His head is all over the fucking place considering the doubts he has over if he _deserves_ her at the end of this all.  
  
How can he? When he’s spent the first three years of her life being nothing but a dad across the road.  
  
It makes his hand slip and the tool clatters against the ground only to be picked up by a smiling Vic.  
  
“I can’t believe you two.” She’s crossing her arms and shaking her head and she’s been away on a school trip for a few days. She’s missed all the revelations but she already knows the flipping truth doesn’t she.  
  
“Don’t start.” Aaron tries to manoeuvre past her, bends a little and tries again at the pesky wheel as she follows him.  
  
“I can’t believe he agreed.” Vic offers. “He must be more desperate than I thought.”  
  
Aaron raises his head questionably and Vic just carries on.  
  
“It’s true! When I tell you he can’t stand kids, I _mean_ it. Jack and Sarah freak him out apparently.”  
  
And yeah, it bodes well.  
  
“I’m not asking him to treat her as his own, he knows he just has to be stupidly charming and he’s good at that.” It almost sounds like a compliment and Aaron hates the way Vic smiles at him. “What?”  
  
She just shakes her head all innocently and shrugs. “Oh _nothing_. I’m just glad this could get Bella back for you.”  
  
“If Moira doesn’t get there first.” He mumbles, and as if by magic he watches her over the road with Laura.  
  
It gets him all aggravated for absolutely no reason and he needs to stop being such a hot head but it doesn’t stop him from charging over and demanding to know what’s happening.  
  
“Aaron _relax_ , we were just talking about -“  
  
“ _My_ kid.” Aaron points to his chest dramatically as Moira stands in front of him. It’s weird, their relationship is weird because she’s always hated him and yet he’s always admired her deep down.  
  
She was always the mother that his own couldn’t be and that sounds harsh but it’s fucking true.  
  
But even she couldn’t protect Holly.  
  
“When it suits.” Moira says towards the gravel, only he hears her and loses his cool.  
  
“Who the fuck do -“  
  
“Aaron!” Vic drags him away, only he’s all red in the face and losing his fucking mind and Laura looks more than a little concerned.  
  
“I think it’s best if we all cool right down.” Laura says, eyes flickering a little and then she’s explaining that Moira was just concerned and wanted to ask how Bella was.  
  
It was all completely innocent until Aaron came along and fucked it up.  
  
“Look I’m sorry I just -“  
  
Aaron’s trying, he’s really trying to sort himself out and behave like an adult when Robert pulls up in his fucking Aldi with his sweet talk.  
  
“Is there a problem?” He hops out of the car, pretends to have been meeting Aaron for lunch and Vic almost has to pull a hand over her mouth to stop laughing because it’s so stupidly _not_ believable.  
  
Robert is in a blue suit and tie and Aaron has oil on his cheek but apparently they’re _lovers_.  
  
Aaron just stares at him, frowning and looking more pissed off than anything else. “No, well I -“  
  
Robert goes and presses a hand down on Aaron’s shoulder and smiles faintly before looking towards Laura. “I’m Robert. Aaron’s partner.”  
  
Aaron’s eyes widen a little and he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say so he just keeps his head down as Robert charms and shakes Laura’s hand.  
  
“Nice to meet you. I should really be going but it would be great to meet you properly. Have a nice chat.”  
  
She loves the word nice, Aaron doesn’t.  
  
Robert nods hesitantly before gulping.  
  
“Yeah that’s good.” Robert looks back at Aaron. “Isn’t it?” He says, arches an eyebrow and Aaron nods slowly before looking at the way Moira is frowning like she doesn’t believe it all for a _second_.  
  
So he goes and says something stupid.  
  
“Yeah well, you can visit us any time you like at Robert’s flat. I’ve moved in.”  
  
Moira scoffs and Aaron doesn’t even want to look at Robert’s face. They’ve said that they’ll have to face that eventually but it’s been less than a fucking week and it’s a joke.  
  
“Since _when_?” Moira decides to say, almost laughs as Laura raises an eyebrow.  
  
“We - we discussed it the other night didn’t we?” Aaron elbows Robert and the older man nods a little.  
  
“Yeah. We did. We - we’re living together from tonight.”  
  
And this is spiralling way too far out of reach now.  
  
::  
  
Chas tries to stop him naturally, but Aaron tells her in the nicest way to do one and she seems to get it.  
  
Only _Cain_ doesn’t. He all but corners him whilst Robert waits in his car probably regretting ever agreeing to this stupid plan.  
  
“Oi.” Cain’s all dark coat and collar up and Aaron’s surprised that he hasn’t tried to beat the gay out of him. “You know I don’t give a shit about the gay thing, but I do care about you going off with that Robert.”  
  
Everyone seems to care and Aaron kicks himself because Robert was supposed to be a fucking safe bet.  
  
“Why? What’s wrong with him?” Cain goes to speak and Aaron waves a hand out. “He can’t be worse than me.”  
  
That makes Cain sigh hard and then comes closer. “You need to think about Bella. Not waste your time trying to be okay with being gay and rushing at the first bloke who shows an -“  
  
Aaron shakes his head and decides to start walking towards Robert’s car but Cain seems to be following him.  
  
“Just do one!” Aaron pulls at the car door and Robert only pipes up when Cain slams it back again.  
  
“Can you chill out, this is worth more than your house mate.” Robert doesn’t help matters, of course not.  
  
Cain looks like he wants to kill him, and Aaron has to push him back as Robert stands there.  
  
“Aaron I mean it. Why are you wasting your time when you should be focusing on -“  
  
“That’s all I’m doing!” Aaron shouts, too loud and harsh and he nearly gives the whole game away until Robert drags Aaron’s bags off of him and sticks him in the boot.  
  
“Let’s just go yeah?” Robert says softly, s hand presses on Aaron’s shoulder like before and this time it genuinely settles something in Aaron.  
  
He looks up at him and silently nods before he’s in the car and Cain’s gone.  
  
••  
  
Robert shoves him awake half an hour later because apparently they’ve arrived.  
  
“I’m not getting your bags for you as well.” Robert says, clearly pissed off and he has every right to be. He knows that, which is why he doesn’t even wait for Aaron to even answer him before he’s getting his seatbelt off.  
  
Aaron rubs over his eyes and then sighs hard. “You do realise you’re getting something out of this as well you know?”  
  
Aaron get his kid back and Robert gets the chance to be debt free so everything _should_ be fine and dandy.  
  
Robert just stares at him for a second before rolling his eyes. “Yeah, well it’s not your snoring in my car.”  
  
And Aaron jumps against the sound of the door as Robert leaves.  
  
“Prick.”  
  
He’s a prick with a decent flat though, it’s all pristine and white walls and this massive leather sofa which is too big for the room.  
  
Robert looks like the sort of person who likes _things_ to make up for other things he doesn’t have.  
  
The television is the best thing about the place, Aaron’s meant to be behaving like an adult but he’s a kid as he sees how massive it is. It practically stretches out across the room and Robert just watches him from the door, annoyed.  
  
“Enough eye goggling. You have to make out you’re not a gold digger you know.” Robert heads towards the kitchen and Aaron lets him act like a dick because this sofa is the softest thing he’s ever sat on and he doesn’t mind anything all that much now.  
  
He sort of _feels_ like a gold digger or something cheap like that even though he’s the one paying Robert and it’s nice to have that barrel over the blond.  
  
“I’m the one paying you.” Aaron says, no real bite in his voice but Robert doesn’t say anything for the longest of time and it makes Aaron follow him into the kitchen area.  
  
All marbled tiles and cool lights.  
  
He’s just standing by the coffee machine with his hands shaking as he looks down at his phone.  
  
“Oi, what’s wrong?”  
  
Robert’s eyes flicker and he raises his head. “Nothing. Just - drop your bags in the spare room and -“  
  
“What’s up?” Aaron’s relentless and Robert looks fed up.  
  
“Just them demanding the money again.” Robert bites down on his lip and cautiously shows Aaron the texts, the _threats_.  
  
“That’s more than - they’re threatening to do damage to your workplace.” Aaron blinks quickly. “How the fuck did you end up -“  
  
“You don’t have to know!” Robert hisses, pushes passed Aaron. “Just like I don’t know about your kid.”  
  
He’s probably forgotten her name _again_ which isn’t ideal.  
  
Aaron frowns, pulls his hoodie up towards him a little more and sighs. “What, Vic didn’t tell you?”  
  
Robert shrugs. “I didn’t want to know.” He says and suddenly Aaron gulps hard because that means that Robert doesn’t know about the _drugs_.  
  
Aaron’s eyes flicker and then Robert gulps hard. “Robert, those threats -“  
  
“I ignore them.”  
  
“Why don’t you sell everything here?” Aaron frowns, “Instead of ignoring it all, you could just -“  
  
Robert starts pacing like the old man he is and then looks towards Aaron. “Don’t you think I’ve tried that? They want me to _suffer_ , for it to go on for as long as possible. They don’t want any of this.” He looks around the place and then sighs. “They want me to work for it.”  
  
It sounds fucking sadistic and it’s not what Aaron wanted to get himself into but he doesn’t have a choice.  
  
Aaron gulps hard again, “Just two months.”  
  
Robert scoffs. “I’m no expert but I doubt that.” He says, looks down. “I might not even have that long.”  
  
It’s ominous and Aaron’s eyes flicker because he can’t say anything until -  
  
“Do they know where you live?”  
  
It’s just a question but Robert seems to see it as badly as he possibly can. “Oh I see.” He says, and the vulnerability has gone, the charm and the flair is distant and he’s just angry. “You just want to know if your precious kid and you are safe here.”  
  
Aaron frowns. “No.” He says. “I was -“ he wasn’t worried for him, he was just _saying_. “Well, yeah as it happens. You were supposed to be a safe bet and now you’re all mixed up in this shit!”  
  
Robert squints, looks hurt by it but just frowns. “Well sorry to disappoint, but you asked for my help and now we’re stuck.” Aaron just looks away and Robert walks passed him. “I’m sure you can find the spare room by yourself.” He says before disappearing into his own room.  
  
••  
  
He ignores his mum for a few days and decides that apart from working at the garage and having the odd pint at the pub, he’ll be camping out at Robert’s.  
  
Robert who has decided to calm the fuck down and not take everything so bloody personal.  
  
“You never said you’d be under my feet.”  
  
Or so he thought.  
  
Robert’s just got out the shower and Aaron has his mouth open for a second too long as Robert tries to find his shirt.  
  
“I’m not under your feet.” Aaron dramatically turns away from Robert and tries to sort out the redness in his cheek. “I’ve just got back from work.”  
  
“How was your mum? She still thinks I’m using you for your body doesn’t she.” He almost laughs like all of this is funny and Aaron would love it to be as simple as that but it isn’t and he can only scowl at Robert from the sofa and be pleased that he’s found his shirt.  
  
“Who knows what she thinks.” Aaron mumbles, because his mum thinking that her son is just having some sexy time with an older bloke to deal with his sexuality is the most cringeworthy thing in the world. But it’s _not_ the worst thing is it?  
  
The worst thing is the fact that his own daughter isn’t with him.  
  
He couldn’t give a toss about anything else.  
  
His phone goes off on his lap and he cringes as he sees that his mum has sent him a text, she says she misses him, that she wants him and Robert to come around for a meal tonight.  
  
He can’t help but groan and then Robert is joining him as he shows him the text.  
  
“We have to.” Aaron says suddenly, “It would be weird if we said no.”  
  
“Would it? We can just say we’re _busy_. Two young blokes have _just_ moved in together, she can connect the dots.”  
  
And Robert is too sexual of a person for Aaron to deal with sometimes. He turns bright red and throws a pillow towards Robert.  
  
“Can you just do what I say?”  
  
Robert’s eyes flicker, he’s not a fan of being told what to do. Especially by a kid who can’t even grow facial hair yet.  
  
“Fine.” Robert storms off, and Aaron honestly can’t decide who’s the bigger kid.  
  
••  
  
There’s _rules_ and guidelines and Aaron won’t stop speaking the whole way to the Woolpack.  
  
“I’m not expecting a grilling. Besides, your mum knows me. She knows Diane so -“  
  
“She hates you though.” And they all hate the Sugdens really, deep down, it’s Andy’s fault for knocking Debbie up.  
  
Robert rolls his eyes. “It’s not her we need to win over though is it?” He turns towards Aaron as he drives. “It’s that Laura.”  
  
Even her name makes Aaron nervous, palms sweaty and all sorts.  
  
“Look if it gets too tense, we can just go.” Robert shrugs, taking control and Aaron sort of welcomes it in this odd way before he nods his head. “Or I’ll just get touchy feely.”  
  
They’ve parked up now and Aaron has gone deaf for a second because Robert has to wave a hand out towards him.  
  
“Oi. Boundaries. No tongue alright?”  
  
Aaron’s eyes just flicker for a second before he comes to his senses. “I’m not _kissing_ you.” He says. “Mum wouldn’t even expect that.”  
  
Robert’s shoulders relax. “Cool.” He’s always so _cool_ until he’s fretting about _money_. “Hand on your thigh?”  
  
And Aaron rolls his eyes. “Not any higher.”  
  
That makes Robert scoff. “You wish.”  
  
Aaron’s heart thuds. He really _doesn’t_.  
  
••  
  
The dinner goes great until it just doesn’t.  
  
Chas has made an effort, burnt the chicken and made the gravy too thick but Robert eats politely with that hand on Aaron’s thigh.  
  
He’s also thrown an arm around the back of Aaron’s chair for good measure and Aaron doesn’t tell him to do one.  
  
Chas looks all beady eyed between them though and then she starts.  
  
“I’m so happy for you love. Honest.” Aaron braces himself though. “But _him_. It’s like your choosing this over Bella.”  
  
She’s Cain apparently and Aaron’s already had enough.  
  
“I’m not.” Aaron says, decides to try and lie as well as Robert can. “It’s not like I planned to fall for him but I have.” Chas’ eyes flicker. “He treats me right and - he’s got a clean flat and he can _cook_. So - just back off.”  
  
“I’m not trying to be horrible here. I promise. Maybe he _is_ Prince Charming but - when’s the last time you thought about how this could impact getting Bella back?”  
  
The irony is too much for Aaron to deal with.  
  
“Of course I have. And I don’t see the -“  
  
“Did he even _know_ you had a kid when he sneaked his way in?” Chas almost can’t fucking help herself and Aaron’s head aches.  
  
“Of course he did!” Aaron snaps, and that hand on his thigh suddenly becomes tighter. It’s like Robert is telling him to calm the heck down and Aaron’s never going to be able to. “Why can’t you just get over it so we can try and get Bella back.”  
  
Chas looks all sad suddenly. “That’s all I want. For her to be home with her daddy and nana. But I just want you to know that all of this could show that she’s not your number one -“  
  
“She is.” Robert says suddenly, and even Chas is startled by his voice. “He’s always talking about her, about how much he loves her and I wouldn’t be with him if I didn’t respect that she’s always going to be his number one priority. So why don’t you just chill out and let him prove that to you instead of _judging_ him and his choices all the time.”  
  
He says it all too quickly and Chas says absolutely nothing back until she’s collecting the plates and telling Aaron she loves him.  
  
“I know you do.” He mumbles back quietly, until she pulls him into a hug and he smiles at Robert over his shoulder who just nods back.  
  
••  
  
It ends on a sour note because of course it does but Aaron knows that his mum just needs to learn to bite her tongue instead of biting back all the time.  
  
It doesn’t stop him sulking in the car as they drive back to Robert’s flat.  
  
“You alright?” Robert asks, they’re stuck at a traffic light and when Aaron looks up, Robert is drenched in red.  
  
“Yeah. She never _really_ means a nice meal though does she?” Aaron has his feet up against the dashboard and Robert just has to look at him before they’re back on the floor.  
  
“She loves you.” Robert shrugs. “And she thinks I’m a devil.” He says. He doesn’t even seem _fazed_ and Aaron appreciates that.  
  
“Thanks though, for saying what you said.” Aaron has a hand waved out vaguely and Robert gulps hard.  
  
“Just doing what I had to.” He explains. “Getting her supporting our _relationship_ should help, right?”  
  
Aaron’s eyes flicker, “Yeah. Of course.” He looks down at his hands and almost can’t say anything until he’s hearing Robert quietly laugh about something. “What?” He says and Robert flashes him a _genuine_ smile.  
  
“A clean flat and a good cook.” Robert says. “Nice words for the bloke you’re supposed to be in love with.”  
  
Aaron laughs back before something gnaws in his stomach.  
  
••  
  
This tyre he’s working on decides to be as stubborn as he usually is and it won’t budge.  
  
It’s not like Aaron’s really trying to chanel his frustration into the wheel but he sort of can’t help himself once he thinks of the whole _situation_.  
  
He keeps thinking about how messed up it all is, the lengths he’s going to for Laura to turn around and decide that he’ll never be fit enough to look after his own kid.  
  
It’s a dark thought and he feels like a failure. He can’t help but cast his mind back and grow numb with memories.  
  
Sometimes he wonders if all kids would be better off without their dads.  
  
“Oi. What the fuck are you doing here then?”  
  
Aaron’s already got his back up as he hears the voice and then he sees the bloke standing there with a hat on and some baggy rain jacket.  
  
He looks fucked up and Aaron just scowls at him before it _dawns_ on him.  
  
“Charlie? What are you -“  
  
“Thought you might be interested in handling a bit of the goods. Holding them for me like you used to.” Charlie’s a dunce, one that Aaron has harmless memories of but still, he’s in a game that Aaron can’t afford to be apart of.  
  
Aaron scratches at his eyebrow and sighs. “I don’t do that anymore.”  
  
“I’m not asking you to snort the stuff.” Charlie scoffs and his shoulders roll up and down in this awkward way before he tilts his head to the side. “Speaking of which, where’s Hols?”  
  
Just hearing her name makes him bristle uncomfortably, it’s been less than six months and everything is still too raw to be talked about like this but -  
  
“Dead.” Aaron says quietly, and Charlie doesn’t seem to have anything to see. “I’ll give you three guesses on what killed her.”  
  
That’s when Charlie seems to get the hint. “ _Mate_ , I didn’t know that -“  
  
“Well now you do. I’m trying to get our kid back from the social alright? So I don’t need this -“  
  
Temptation?  
  
Not yet anyway.  
  
••  
  
Aaron’s feeling sorry for himself because he’s allowed to and there’s too many bottles on the table for him to count.  
  
He keeps playing a video of Bella on his phone from a few months ago. She’s playing with one of her dolls, he calls her name and she looks up and smiles right at him.  
  
She’s _happy_ and he’s clueless about everything going on around him because he’s an idiot. He didn’t see anything. He didn’t see the signs that Holly was struggling because he was way too wrapped up in getting over the gay thing.  
  
Objectively speaking, _rightly_ so but that’s besides the point.  
  
The door opening startles him enough for his drink to get over the carpet and Robert walks in on Aaron rubbing tissue into the floor.  
  
“What -“ Robert looks at his brandy out on the table and loses it. “Are you necking back my drink?”  
  
Aaron raises his head gingerly. “Sorry.” He mumbles. “I was feeling bad about - about _Bella_ and -“  
  
“Oh yeah. And this is really helping the kid.”  
  
Aaron suddenly hates Robert’s indifference towards her.  
  
“Piss off.” He mumbles, attempts to get to his feet but Robert has to help him up. “I meant it, just get off -“  
  
That’s when he pushes Robert away and the older man makes him feel like shit.  
  
“You know what, I didn’t sign up to have some teenager be let loose on my home.” Robert shouts, hands flapping and enough to make Aaron scowl back.  
  
“Yeah well sorry I’ve come along and ruined your perfect fucking life with my little problems but -“  
  
He goes and starts almost crying and he _hates_ himself.  
  
“I just want her back.” Aaron whispers, “I know I’m - I’m _useless_ but she’s _mine_ and I just - I want her back.” He has his head down and he suddenly slumps towards the sofa and pulls his head in his hands as he fucking _cries_.  
  
Robert just stands over him, unable to figure out what to do with his hands before he sits on the edge of the sofa. “You will have her back.” He says, still so fucking cool and square yet with a softness in his voice. “You can’t lose hope now, and drowning your sorrows won’t make much difference. You’ll prove them wrong.”  
  
Aaron’s eyes flicker as he looks at Robert. He’s not heard near enough how much he wants to about his own daughter for too long now. It aches. It’s all starting to feel like he’ll never have her. “Yeah?” He says slowly and Robert nods.  
  
Then he leans towards the table and starts tidying everything away like a boring nice person.  
  
“I’m sorry - for the drinking, it was rude.”  
  
Maybe Robert’s decency is rubbing off on him.  
  
Robert shrugs. “You were upset.” His jaw is still tight. “Don’t try it again mind.” He says and Aaron could laugh if he didn’t feel like throwing up. “Things will soon come up good.” He says, optimistic despite the loan sharks, or dragons let’s say, breathing down his neck.  
  
Aaron just stares at him for a second before he’s getting an email and he can’t quite believe it.  
  
“They want to know if I’m available tomorrow to see Belle at a contact centre.”  
  
Robert actually smiles all genuinely and Aaron can’t help but copy him.  
  
“She wants to know if you’ll come along as well.”  
  
Robert suddenly sweats. “I wouldn’t want to ruin your time with her you know.”  
  
Aaron rolls his eyes. “As if.” He shrugs. “This is her chance to see you, see that we’re _serious_.”  
  
And yeah, it has to work.  
  
••  
  
Aaron’s been in the bathroom for over an hour now and Robert has resorted to tapping on the door for as long as it takes.  
  
“Alright alright.” Aaron emerges in a grey jumper and a pair of jeans, it’s a step up from the absolute _dire_ wardrobe he usually rocks and Robert is on the right side of being actually impressed.  
  
Aaron scowls at him naturally but then softens as he sees that Robert’s made an effort. He’s got a suit on, purple tie and shiny shoes and he’s holding his briefcase.  
  
“Thought I’d go for the ‘had to dash from work but I wouldn’t miss this for the world’ sort of look.” Robert is positively smug and then he waves a hand out towards Aaron’s get up. “It screams single dad. Well done.”  
  
Aaron never ever wanted to scream single dad and nineteen years old but apparently it’s all he needs now he wants Bella back.  
  
Aaron nods nervously, “Cheers. You - you look half decent so thanks for that as well.”  
  
“Just doing what I need to. Come on, let’s go. I do have a life outside of this lie.”  
  
And that always manages to slap them back down to Earth.  
  
••  
  
The thing is, Aaron is practically bawled over by what happens.  
  
They’re in this nice little room, toys everywhere and Laura sitting away from the centre of it. She waves to them, chats about this being a good first step or whatever and Robert chats for the both of them until Bella’s running in and Aaron can’t shut up.  
  
She’s got her hair in pigtails but it’s too curly to stay like that so it’s all messy and adorable.  
  
Aaron’s this animated bloke all of a sudden, falling to his knees as she ploughs straight towards his chest and hugs him tightly.  
  
And she loves him, he can’t believe that she still loves him.  
  
“Hey Belle.” Aaron shudders a little before he watches her twirl in front of him and show off her frilly navy dress. She looks fucking adorable and it makes his chest ache a little. “God, I’ve missed you so much.”  
  
“Did you get my pictures?” Her eyes are wide and she jumps a little as Aaron nods his head. “The one with you and me and mummy!”  
  
Aaron flattens her hair against his palm and nods. “Yeah of course I did.” He says. “You’re a right little artist you.” He laughs a little and then Bella’s looking up right towards where Robert is standing.  
  
He’s suddenly awkward, just smiles down at her for a second until she’s tugging at his jeans.  
  
“Hello Mr Giraffe.”  
  
Aaron doesn’t even know what to say, just pulls a hand across his mouth and tries not to laugh as Robert’s eyes widen down at her.  
  
“Belle, this is Robert.” He’s not sure why he’s even nervous, it’s not like they’re actually going out but her opinion matters. “He’s - he’s my special friend.”  
  
She’s _three_ and he doesn’t want to confuse her, his eyes flicker up to Laura who just smiles at them all before looking back down.  
  
Aaron looks up at Robert and widens his eyes before Robert gets it and crouches down to look at the little girl. Granted, she’s a cute kid but he doesn’t know what do with them.  
  
“Special friend?” Belle frowns a little and Robert decides to take some sort of charge.  
  
“Yeah. I’m daddy’s special friend Robert and you must be Princess Belle?”  
  
Aaron eyes almost fucking sparkle as Bella gasps like she honestly thinks Robert believes she’s a princess. It’s magical.  
  
“No, but she’s my _favourite_ princess in the whole world ever.” Bella chats away to a stranger and Aaron knows her well enough to know that she doesn’t like strangers.  
  
Holly and her druggy mates stopping by probably put Bella off strangers for life and yet here she is.  
  
She practically falls into Robert’s lap because she’s so excited and he awkwardly catches her.  
  
“Be careful.” Robert says, almost smiles and then Bella pulls her hair out of her face and tries to drag Aaron up towards the dolls in the middle of the room.  
  
“We can play!” Bella jumps up and down until Aaron’s laughing and following her. “Come on ‘Ob.” She looks towards Robert who still looks stupidly out of place in his suit but he follows anyway.  
  
And he’s not a natural but he’s got Bella fawning over him and listening to every flipping word he says. He doesn’t even say that _much_ , just holds onto a doll and is able to set up a dolls house for the little girl.  
  
“What do you say to Robert?” Aaron tries being a dad and it works.  
  
“Thank you.” Bella says, in this sweet sing song voice that even makes Robert crack a smile.  
  
“Can I come back with you and ‘Ob?” Bella tilts her head and clearly still has trouble pronouncing her Rs when it counts. He almost just concentrated on that before he has to shake his head.  
  
“Not today no.” Aaron says slowly, scratches his eyebrow as he watches Bella pull a funny hat onto her daddy’s head. She stops and pouts like she almost wants to cry and Aaron can’t bare it. “I told you I’m doing _all_ I can remember?”  
  
And he shouldn’t expect her to remember. She’s just a little girl and all she wants is some fucking stability.  
  
“But - but -“  
  
“Me and your daddy have a special plan Princess Belle.” Robert jumps in, suddenly hates the way Aaron is so choked up. Bella looks straight at him and he nods to reassure her. “But you just have to wait for a little longer okay?”  
  
It makes her sniff a little, almost too stubborn and then she falls into Aaron’s chest again like she doesn’t want anyone to see her cry.  
  
Aaron can’t help but press a kiss against her head and rub her back.  
  
He does the same a few minutes later when their time is up and he has to watch Bella disappear again.  
  
“I love you lots and lots and -“  
  
“Even more lots.”  
  
It makes Aaron’s eyes water out of nowhere because he wasn’t even sure she remembered their silly little thing but she does.  
  
He holds her against his chest and can’t get over how small and vulnerable she is, how much she needs him.  
  
He only lets go when Laura appears with a smile on her face.  
  
“See you later monkey.” He stands as Robert does the same, waves out a little down towards her but she pulls on his jeans before he’s kneeling again and she hugs him.  
  
She fucking hugs him and Aaron’s eyes widen as he watches how frozen Robert is in the hold.  
  
“Bye Mr Giraffe.” She’s got no trouble saying that apparently and no trouble hugging him either.  
  
“Bye.” Robert says, still fucking awkward and still afraid of kids really but he just smiles as she goes away with Laura and keeps waving back at them.  
  
Aaron’s crying just a little and Robert places a hand on his shoulder without saying anything, without anyone else watching either.  
  
••  
  
Robert drives Aaron back to his slowly, like he doesn’t want to rush it or make Aaron burst out crying again.  
  
Aaron just has his face down towards his phone and he’s staring down at the picture of Bella he took when Laura wasn’t looking.  
  
Robert’s face just so happens to be in frame as well and he’s almost smiling as she looks at him. It’s weird, he almost looks happy.  
  
“Thought you would have been a little happier than this I must say.” Robert has a hand pressed down on the gear stick and Aaron looks up at him.  
  
“I am.” He says, pushes further down in his seat. “I didn’t expect her to be so - she was excited to see me.”  
  
Robert turns the corner and then shrugs. “You’re her dad. And you’re _young_ , a big kid to her.”  
  
Aaron doesn’t know what to say to that, just keeps staring at Robert and then gulps hard. “You weren’t as bad as I thought you’d be.”  
  
Robert tenses for a second. “I was worse?”  
  
And he’s annoyingly insecure about stupid things isn’t he?  
  
“You were good.” Aaron says, “She - she doesn’t like strangers.”  
  
Robert blinks quickly and then his eyes flicker because he’s not sure what he’s supposed to say or how much that means.  
  
“Well I’m your special friend aren’t I?”  
  
It makes Aaron smile, like proper smile and he hates himself for being so easily influenced by Robert’s stupidness.  
  
“She has your eyes you know.” Robert says as they pull up to the flat.  
  
And Aaron allows himself to take it as Robert’s way of complimenting her.  
  
••  
  
It’s like things seem to ease out a little and not everything between them is so angry. They bicker like fucking crazy but Aaron knows Robert a little bit more now that he’s living with him.  
  
Vic likes showing up though, just to laugh at what’s going on, as if this doesn’t actually mean a whole lot.  
  
“It’s not funny.” Aaron’s breaking a rule, he’s got his feet up on the counter whilst he attempts to stir pasta around and waits for Robert to come home. They’ve got into the habit of eating with each other which is a joke.  
  
“Of course it is.” Vic cranes her neck and sighs. “My brother hates kids and spent half his life hating liking boys as well and now -“  
  
Aaron’s eyes flicker. “Did he have a hard time coming out?” He stops what he’s doing and looks right at Vic.  
  
“He doesn’t like talking about it. I haven’t _actually_ seen him with a bloke before so, he must really be desperate if he’s doing all of this.”  
  
It doesn’t make Aaron feel any better about himself, but then again, he doesn’t feel any worse. They both know what they’ve gotten themselves into by now despite maybe not wanting to go ahead anymore.  
  
“Yeah well, he’s doing just fine. Belle seemed to think so anyway.”  
  
Vic’s face lights up. “Aww little Bella, she took to _Robert_ then?”  
  
He doesn’t want to exaggerate, make a big song and dance out of it but yeah, she did.  
  
“That cold lump of sarcasm. Wow. He must have hidden charms.” Vic says and Aaron raises an eyebrow almost like he’s bothered. “What? I love him but he’s useless at kids and commitment.”  
  
“He’s only twenty four.”  
  
And Aaron shuts his mouth before this turns into him _defending_ Robert.  
  
He doesn’t need to say anything else because he walks in himself, takes his shoes off neatly by the door and Aaron nods at him before climbing down.  
  
“Didn’t expect to see you here.” Robert squeezes at Vic all the same though and she stays for dinner.  
  
It’s not like they hate each other but they don’t _get on_ either which is why Aaron sort of hates the fact that Vic observes them. She watches the way Robert wordlessly passes the ketchup to Aaron and shuffles his body across because Aaron’s all elbows whilst he eats. She watches Aaron slide Robert over a beer and then a glass begrudgingly like he knows that Robert doesn’t like drinking straight from the can.  
  
It nearly sets Aaron on edge until he doesn’t allow it to.  
  
“How’s my mum?” Aaron asks, and Vic doesn’t say all that much. “Well find out please, you’re our way in.”  
  
And she is, however annoying that is, it’s true.  
  
“Fine.” Vic sighs hard and then turns to her brother. “Andy wanted a word now he’s back from that course.”  
  
It makes Robert clatter his cutlery a little and Aaron can’t help but feel for him. “About me sucking cocks now?”  
  
“Oh _yeah_ , lower the tone. As if Aaron’s even let you see -“  
  
Robert ups and goes, pisses off outside and Aaron decides to drive Vic back to the village before seeing where he’s got to.  
  
He finds him eventually, walking near the local park like it’s not late. “Oi. Get in.”  
  
Robert’s eyes widen as he sees that Aaron’s driving his car. “Are you fucking -“  
  
“Crazy yeah. I must be for driving around trying to find you. Get in.”  
  
And to everyone’s surprise, Robert does. He slams the door shut and looks like he doesn’t want to speak to anyone ever again.  
  
“You don’t have to speak to Andy about this if you don’t want to.” Robert still doesn’t move his lips and Aaron shudders. “I know a bit about how it feels to hide liking boys trust me. I’ve still not even fully accepted it yet.”  
  
Robert looks up at him slowly and Aaron feels too important.  
  
“But maybe just hear what he has to say. If you don’t like it, tell him to piss off.”  
  
Robert gulps hard. “I haven’t really - I haven’t played house with a bloke and I don’t know - it’s weird to think that the first time I do is just some massive _lie_.”  
  
Aaron’s eyes flicker and he understands too well.  
  
“How can I defend myself to Andy when -“  
  
“You don’t have to defend yourself. Fuck that.” Aaron’s mouthy, and he’s a chavy teenager but Robert could learn a thing or two. “You let him say what he wants and you leave.”  
  
Robert blinks quickly now, “Yeah. Alright.” He says, and Aaron punches his arm lightly. “Now get out of that seat and let me drive home.”  
  
Aaron rolls his eyes before agreeing.  
  
••  
  
Laura wants to see them both at Robert’s flat and Aaron loses his _mind_ causally.  
  
It’s just about checking his new living arrangements but he also knows it has to be about him and Robert as a couple as well.  
  
It’s why Aaron’s up at a stupid time cleaning everything like it needs to be taken care of when it _doesn’t_. He feels like his mum as he looks under the sofa and starts hitting the pillows against the walls.  
  
“Woah. Less of the hitting the nice cushions please.” Robert’s barely awake but Aaron pulls at him until he wakes up.  
  
“I’m being serious Robert. Laura’s coming over to see how it’s going so wake up.”  
  
Robert fucking groans. “It’s _Saturday_.” So apparently he doesn’t need this shit. “Why does it smell like disinfectant?”  
  
Aaron’s eyes widen. “Did I over do it?” He’s all conscious and then starts hitting buttons on Robert’s coffee machine until the place smells like Starbucks.  
  
“You need to chill out.”  
  
Only Aaron can’t hear that. “This is my kid I’m trying to get back, I know you don’t give a stuff but I do!”  
  
Robert takes it, just rubs at his head as Aaron shouts and then it’s turning into an argument like always and Aaron’s slamming doors.  
  
He only calms down a few hours later as he knocks on Robert’s bedroom door.  
  
“Sorry for the shouting.” Aaron says, he apologises and his mother would be proud. Robert is reading a book like a boring dad and he puts it down. “I’m just a bit -“  
  
“Yeah I know you are.” Robert says, no heat in his voice and Aaron takes that as enough to come in further. “Look, you’re in full time work, you’ve got a great support system, a nice place to live, you _love_ the kid.” He shrugs and then smiles. “And you have a charming boyfriend as well.”  
  
Aaron rolls his eyes. “You’re a dick.” He says gently before Robert gets up and follows him towards the door. “Before she comes in, I may have taken down a few things in the living room to make it look more -“  
  
Basically all Robert’s weird, not child friendly shit has been stored away and there’s all these family pictures that Vic’s helped bring in all about the place.  
  
“Aaron.” Robert breathes out but before he can say anything the buzzer is going and Aaron’s letting Laura come up.  
  
“Hi.” Robert rubs a hand over his face as she comes in with Aaron. “It’s lovely to meet you again.”  
  
Aaron smiles faintly at Robert as he watches him sweet talk Laura and he gets her a coffee. His hands are shaking as he tries to work the stupid coffee machine and he’s regretting trying to be a housewife as soon as it makes a strong rumble.  
  
He waits it out though and when he comes back in, Robert’s sitting down with Laura and talking about the area.  
  
“- the park is right across the road too. It’s where me and Aaron usually go jogging, when we’re off work.”  
  
And yeah, they’re _healthy_ and fit as well so take _that_ Laura.  
  
“Lovely.” She says, like she’s reserving the word nice for a few more sentences. “I think the time spent with Bella went great, she seemed very happy to see you _both_.”  
  
Robert smiles faintly and Aaron almost looks proud of him which is odd. “It was nice to finally meet her, I mean - Aaron’s always going on about how amazing she is and - she was brilliant.”  
  
It shouldn’t make Aaron smile but it does and then he’s sighing deeply.  
  
“She wanted to come home with us.” He admits and Robert doesn’t know what to say. He just stares down as Aaron continues. “That’s literally what she said, shouldn’t - shouldn’t that count?”  
  
“It does. Of course it does but it’s hardly that simple.”  
  
Because Bella’s a kid who doesn’t know what’s good for her basically.  
  
“I’ve got my job at the garage still.” Aaron pulls at his hands nervously and Robert presses a hand down on his thigh steadily. “I’m actually looking at going back to school as well, doing a proper mechanics course.”  
  
Laura seems happy enough about it.  
  
“I’m honestly very pleased with the progress, and this set up -“  
  
“We’re really happy aren’t we?” Aaron butts in, because he can’t give her the chance to see that Aaron doesn’t relax enough around Robert and Robert’s smile is always too wide.  
  
“Yeah - yeah of course.” Robert stammers out, almost caught off guard as he speaks and Laura looks between them without saying a word. “I’m serious about him, about him getting Bella back.”  
  
“And she’d be living here?”  
  
“Yeah.” Aaron says. “We’ve talked about it loads haven’t we?”  
  
Robert just keeps nodding his head like a lap dog.  
  
“I just want a chance to prove that I can be there for her. Properly.”  
  
Laura nods. “And I appreciate that, and all this effort. Your past _is_ still a factor that has come into play. I know you’re confident about being done with the drugs but -“  
  
Robert sort of doesn’t hear anything else, the hand on Aaron’s thigh becomes clammy and he becomes panicked enough to want to pull it away.  
  
The next thing he hears is Aaron promising that he just wants to have her for an hour or two alone, that she deserves to have a dad in her life.  
  
“I’ll be in touch.” Laura says, all nice and sweet and Aaron walks her to the door and down towards her car whilst Robert gets over what the fuck all this drug shit is about.  
  
Vic told him that the social had taken Bella because her mother had died and Aaron was a kid himself. _Not_ because of -  
  
“It was alright wasn’t it?” Aaron says nervously as he comes back, walks towards Robert who is staring out the window. “Oi.” He punches his arm softly and Robert looks up at him.  
  
“ _Drugs_?” Robert hisses and Aaron’s face falls before he gulps hard and says he can explain. He probably can’t though and Robert tries to move passed but then Aaron’s lunging towards him and holding him close. “What are you -“  
  
“Laura’s looking up, by her car.” Aaron practically hisses and then he’s pressing a kiss to Robert’s head as he walks by and feels like his own head is going to fall off.  
  
••  
  
Robert doesn’t ask any questions later that day, or the next day. He decides he doesn’t need to know and him wanting to is just tittering on the edge of caring which he doesn’t.  
  
He’s got his own life and his own debts to keep him up at night and not why Aaron was turning to drugs.  
  
It’s what he’s thinking about as he gets him a few days later and finds Bella on his sofa giving him a toothy grin.  
  
And Beauty and The Beast is blaring from the TV.  
  
“What -“  
  
“Right, ten more minutes of this or Rob will come home and -“  
  
Aaron’s got an apron on and he looks like he’s actually getting his life together. His hair is all curled and his face is turning redder by the second but he stops dead as he sees Robert standing by the door.  
  
“‘Ob!”  
  
And apparently she remembers him and he doesn’t even know _how_ but -  
  
“Hi.” Robert is awkward as ever and Aaron just smiles at him and runs a hand through his hair before putting down the baking tray he’s holding.  
  
“Look, that’s princesses Belle.” Bella jumps up shows Robert before twirling herself around in his hand.  
  
“That’s _amazing_ isn’t it Robert?” Aaron says, and he’s a soft sort of dad isn’t he? He can’t help but try and make things a little settled between the two of them and the way Bella just stares up at Robert like she’s so interested in him and how fucking tall he is.  
  
Robert nods. “Sure is.” He says with a smile before looking at the state of the place. There’s a pile of dolls in the corner of the room and Bella’s gone and drawn about a thousand pictures and the crayons smudged across the wooden floor.  
  
“We were just going to tidy -“  
  
“Can I have a word?” Robert says, drags Aaron towards the kitchen and widens his eyes. “Look at the state of my place.” He says, and Aaron bites his lip as he watches Robert turn his eyes towards the practically dismantled coffee table.  
  
“Yeah I know you’re a neat freak but -“  
  
Robert scowls at him. “This is why kids aren’t my thing.” He frowns, almost talks to himself and Aaron hates how that hurts him a little.  
  
“We made brownies.” Bella’s pulls at Robert’s jeans, and he sees that she’s used one of his expensive stationary pens to draw across a colouring book. He doesn’t know what to say until she gives him a toothy grin and he’s not even sure why she pays him so much attention but -  
  
“Thanks kid.” He can’t help but say. She’s cute. He’ll give her that.  
  
Robert decides to grill him even later, eating badly baked brownies with pink icing and a frown on his face. “You didn’t feed me these so I wouldn’t have a go did ya?”  
  
Aaron frowns at him a little. “ _No_.” He says, watching Bella eat quietly.  
  
“Please don’t tell me you did something stupid.”  
  
Aaron still thinks he’s a dick despite the pink tie he’s rocking that Bella keeps going pulling. “What like _kidnap_ her? Laura rang me, she said I could take her for the afternoon.”  
  
Robert arches an eyebrow. “Oh, well, that’s great.”  
  
“Yeah I thought so too.” Aaron can’t stay mad at him when he hears Bella singing to herself. “She reckons she’s Belle.” And calling her Belle as a nickname is probably the best thing he’s ever done for her.  
  
Robert stares at her and then stares back at Aaron. “How comes she let you?”  
  
Aaron shrugs a little. “Apparently Moira had a word.”  
  
_Moira_. He couldn’t believe it either.  
  
“Yeah, she wanted Bella to be happy apparently. She’s seeing Moira and my mum tomorrow.” Aaron keeps watch of her as he talks and Robert is oddly proud of him for how switched on he is around her.  
  
“That’s great Aaron.” He says, “I suppose I should give you some space.”  
  
Aaron crosses his brow though, “You don’t have to.” He says honestly and then shrugs. “You’ve been here for a few hours already. She - she likes ya.”  
  
Robert scoffs. “Don’t know why, I’m -“  
  
“You’re not as bad as you think.” Aaron almost encourages, an it’s weird but he wants to be nice to him. He smiles almost gently and then the sound of a timer going off makes him jump up and race towards the kitchen.  
  
Robert sighs. “Shame we can’t say the same about you.” He points to it and Aaron bites his lip before laughing.  
  
“Piss off.” He hits him with the towel and then his eyes are travelling right back to Bella.  
  
Even Robert’s stony heart melts a little despite not wanting to.  
  
••  
  
Charlie’s a little relentless in this awful way and he ends up calling Aaron just before he’s trying to give Bella a bedtime story.  
  
“Listen. I get that you’re trying to help me alright? But I’ve got to concentrate on my kid so it’s a no, _again_.”  
  
Charlie lets him go and Aaron hates himself for ever being mixed up in all of this in the first place.  
  
It’s like some heavy shadow over him and it won’t stop aching him until he’s walking back into the spare bedroom and seeing that Robert’s awkwardly reading to Bella.  
  
She’s staring at the book and turning the pages with her little hands as he sits there talking to her about hyper inflation and how it discredits car ownership.  
  
“- and whilst the stocks decrease in -“  
  
Aaron stands by the door, hands in pockets and a frown on her face. “She’s three.”  
  
Robert blushes a little and then clears his throat, “Well someone’s got to read to her, doubt you can understand this.”  
  
He’s clearly embarrassed about being a bit soft but Aaron doesn’t have the chance to bite back because Bella’s telling him to be quiet.  
  
“Want ‘Ob to carry on reading!” Bella nestles closer towards Robert and then calls for Aaron to come and join them.  
  
He shuffles closer until he practically has a leg over Robert’s and then a head against his shoulder and -  
  
He falls asleep like that.  
  
••  
  
Aaron wakes up in the middle of the night and finds Bella laid out across him like a starfish and Robert’s head against his chest.  
  
For a second he smiles and it travels through him at this awful speed, this relentless feeling of being _happy_ and it feels like nobody can stop it.  
  
••  
  
Naturally things fuck up too much and the bubble Aaron likes to be in suddenly bursts as he’s bought back down to reality with a large thump.  
  
It’s like he’s forgotten that Robert has his own life considering the fact that he’s so good at faking it all.  
  
And he does it fake it.  
  
He fakes it so well that Aaron’s annoyed at him as soon as anyone is out of ear shot. He’s started doing this thing where he presses a kiss to Aaron’s temple whenever he enters the pub or whatever and Aaron doesn’t know how to act against it.  
  
He’s in the shower now, getting ready to go out or whatever and Aaron’s stuck in his flat pining after the chance of seeing Bella again soon. It’s weird but she doesn’t make him anxious or sad anymore.  
  
She makes him feel so happy that it almost bursts out of him and maybe he’s just a silly _kid_ of a dad but it’s enough for her he reckons. For now anyway.  
  
“Right, don’t burn down the place whilst I’m gone.” Aaron smells him before he sees him but when he does look up, Robert’s got this blue shirt on and looks likes he going out on the pull or something.  
  
“You got a business thing?”  
  
“No. A _date_ as it happens.” Robert looks fucking proud of himself as he pulls at his collar and smiles.  
  
Aaron finds himself nodding and then he gulps hard. “Not in the village I hope.”  
  
Robert scoffs. “Don’t worry; they all still think I’m madly in love with you.” He rolls his eyes and Aaron thinks he should laugh but he doesn’t.  
  
“Right then.” Aaron says, leans across the sofa a little more and then tilts his head. “So I shouldn’t - shouldn’t wait up for you then?”  
  
Robert sort of stills for a second. “Hopefully not eh?”  
  
And yeah, hopefully not.  
  
••  
  
Her name’s Jennifer, she’s an accountant with hoop earrings instead of studs and Robert likes her enough to bring her home.  
  
He thinks about sending a text to Aaron before hand, but he also doesn’t really _need_ to. He’s probably tucked up in bed by now anyway.  
  
It’s exactly what he thinks when Jennifer lands herself on the sofa and he’s pouring her some wine and it’s going bloody great until she looks over her shoulder and towards the fridge.  
  
The thing _is_ , Robert’s never noticed it before but, Bella’s drawn a picture of two men holding her hand and Aaron is one of them and -  
  
Robert just so happens to be the other one.  
  
“Oh, I - didn’t realise that you -“  
  
He’s also pretty fucked because she goes and presses her hand down on something hard on the sofa and it just so happens to be a flipping baby Annabelle.  
  
“Robert do you want to tell me anything?”  
  
His mouth is hanging open awkwardly and he sighs before attempting to smile. “My room mate - he has a kid and -“  
  
It’s already fucking _weird_ and she doesn’t believe him anyway so there’s no point in even attempting to explain because she’s looking at him like he’s ridiculous.  
  
“I’ll call you.” She doesn’t mean and within seconds of her leaving, Aaron’s coming towards him, stretching out a yawn and getting a glass of water.  
  
“You’re home earlier than -“  
  
“Yeah. And _alone_.”  
  
Aaron pulls a face before pointing towards the fridge. “Belle drew us a picture.”  
  
Robert frowns slightly. “She drew _you_ one.” He distances himself.  
  
“Well she likes you so -“  
  
“No she doesn’t. She doesn’t know me. She knows lies.”  
  
It’s Aaron’s turn to scowl. “What’s your -“  
  
“You. _This_.” Robert shouts, “The second I try to have a life of my own and -“  
  
Aaron flinches a little, he hasn’t forgotten how they woke up a few days ago and he won’t be able to.  
  
“Well sorry for being in the way.”  
  
“Aaron -“  
  
“No.” Aaron says firmly. “I’m sick of feeling like I’ve trapped you when you’re just as desperate as I am!”  
  
And Robert can’t say anything back.  
  
••  
  
He’s annoyed at him, of course he is and Chas thinks they’re just having a lover’s tiff but it’s more than that.  
  
It’s painfully obvious that he’s getting under Robert’s skin, making him annoyed at the slightest thing and there’s no doubt in Aaron’s mind that he’s ruining whatever Robert wants to get up to.  
  
He didn’t _mean_ to ruin last night but he did.  
  
And now Robert’s basically giving him the silent treatment.  
  
“Of course Belle, yeah, I’ll say hi to him from you I promise.” Aaron puts the phone down and watches as Robert searches around for his almond milk. He’s ready for work and Aaron’s still lounging about.  
  
“That was Belle.” Aaron says, tries, because _yeah_ Robert was a twat to him but he _did_ ruin his flipping date or whatever. “She’s doing well, she - she said to say hi to you.”  
  
And even Aaron’s not sure why his little girl seems to care about Robert but she does and it’s annoying.  
  
“That’s nice.” Robert says, cold and bristly and they’re meant to be happy.  
  
“I’ve got a meeting later. With Laura. I said you’d be there.”  
  
Maybe he shouldn’t have, it’s really starting to feel like that now anyway.  
  
Robert stirs at his coffee and then looks towards Aaron. “Yeah. Sure. Whatever.” He says; short and cutting and Aaron’s meant to be the stupid _mope_ , the kid.  
  
“Thanks.”  
  
And he shouldn’t even have to say thanks considering that this is a deal they _both_ agreed to.  
  
“Just text me the time yeah?” Robert says, heads for the door and Aaron stops him.  
  
“This is silly.” Aaron says, hoodie too big over his body and making him look even more like a kid. “I’m sorry if I ruined your date or whatever.”  
  
He’s not sure why he even cares about it. He _only_ cares about Bella.  
  
Robert shakes his head. “It’s fine.” He says. “She was talking a lot about cats anyway.” He shrugs and Aaron laughs like a little flipping girl under Robert’s stupidness.  
  
They don’t say anything for a second and then Robert’s eyes flicker.  
  
“I’ll see you later then?”  
  
And Aaron tries to get a grip.  
  
••  
  
He doesn’t show up.  
  
He just doesn’t show up and it’s not like Aaron doesn’t try to call him because he fucking does.  
  
He rings him and rings but doesn’t get anything back and he has to explain that some unexpected work thing has come up all of a sudden.  
  
It doesn’t stop him ranting away to Vic as soon as he’s out of the meeting, charging back to the flat and calling him all the names under the sun.  
  
“He’s so _stupid_. It’s like he wants this to take even longer.”  
  
Robert’s stupidness gnaws away at him until he’s coming home, looking like he can’t even be bothered to face Aaron.  
  
“Nice of you to show up.” Aaron shouts, no holding back as he sees Robert shuffle towards the kitchen with his head down. “Did you just decide to not come ‘cause you couldn’t be bothered.” He says it like a question but really it’s a statement and he can’t think past it.  
  
Robert choses to ignore him though, almost like he’s not hearing him at all. Until he breathes out slowly. “I’m getting a shower.”  
  
Only Aaron just hears how much he genuinely doesn’t give a shit and it pulsates through him almost uncontrollably as he looks at the back of Robert’s head.  
  
“Are you joking?” Aaron spits. “You don’t even _care_ that -“  
  
“I’m sorry.” Robert says, quiet, still looking away from Aaron as he speaks. “I - I forgot.”  
  
“ _Forgot_?” Aaron growls. “She wasn’t fucking impressed ‘cause I just _kept_ looking at my phone and it probably looked like I didn’t give a toss about what she had to say -“  
  
“I said I’m sorry.” Robert says heavily, pulls himself a little towards the hallway and Aaron shouts after him.  
  
“You could have cost me everything!”  
  
But Robert’s shutting the door to the bathroom without saying another word.  
  
And Aaron’s left fuming until he sees a text appearing on Robert’s phone.  
  
{ wouldn’t mind a repeat of this afternoon. it’s all up to you. }  
  
That makes him _seethe_ , it makes his blood boil and the feeling takes over him, so much so that he’s flipping flying open the bathroom door and -  
  
Robert jumps back, shirt half open and eyes wide and -  
  
He’s _hurt_.  
  
“Rob.” Aaron whispers, like they’re _mates_ , like Robert wants him to be concerned. He feels sick at the sight of the bruises over Robert’s middle, the way he’s looking so ashamed and alarmed and -  
  
“Get out.” Robert says suddenly, it’s so loud that Aaron flinches back. “I mean it - Aaron get out -“  
  
“Who did that?” Aaron convinces himself for a second that it’s not what he thinks it is. “Robert I -“  
  
Robert decides to push past him instead, hair dripping and chest bare now and only his trousers on. Aaron’s eyes fucking flicker and he follows him.  
  
“I gave them money. You told them that more was coming so why -“  
  
“You don’t understand. You - you _wouldn’t_ understand.”  
  
And it’s scary to see all that charm unravel out of him and he’s just reduced to almost _nothing_ but a panicked mess.  
  
“Try me.” Aaron says, face red and he comes closer towards Robert and tries to hold his arm but Robert only pushes him away. “Please -“  
  
“Why?” Robert says, eyes almost watering. “It’s no big deal.”  
  
“Of course it is.”  
  
“Because I didn’t get to the meeting.” Robert says, shoulders heavy and Aaron shakes his head.  
  
“No - no I didn’t -“  
  
“You did. It’s not your problem, alright? It’s mine.” Robert shoves passed Aaron but he’s too weak to fight off the way Aaron holds him.  
  
“Tell me who they are.” He feels fucking protective and he almost hates himself.  
  
But then Robert has the ability to make him feel so small.  
  
“What can you do?” Aaron blinks quickly and drops his head. “You’re just a stupid kid Aaron!”  
  
And he doesn’t want to be just that anymore.  
  
He hates that part of him and he feels like shit for thinking that Robert’s hurt.  
  
It’s why he tries again, that night, with a pizza and a beer and a knock on Robert’s door.  
  
“It’s not a fancy one, but I don’t want you on your own.” He’s holding the pizza in one hand, and Robert doesn’t say anything before he does come out a few minutes later.  
  
He turns his nose up at the pizza and then stiffens into the seat and Aaron tries not to look at him. He tries to make light conversation but it all hurts a bit too much and he has to keep his head down.  
  
“I was on my way to see you.” Robert says almost to himself, he’s playing with the hem of his shirt and he smells like his elder-flower shower gel. “I was rushing and then someone asked me to help them with their car, and I -“ Robert looks up. “It was them. Just to keep me on my toes.”  
  
Aaron just freezes, eyes flickering before he looks right at Robert again. He’s got a cut above his eye but most of the damage seems to be to his stomach. He could have broken a rib.  
  
“Vic said you got into debt over trying to impress an ex.” Aaron says. “That was a lie wasn’t it?”  
  
Robert nearly gets up, he’s nearly done with it all but then Aaron looks up at him like he’s genuinely interested. “It was more than that.” He says. “I didn’t get this nice place and the good job just because of hard work.” He explains, and there’s a sorry story to go with it all that makes Aaron’s body churn.  
  
He mixed in with the wrong crowd after his dad chucked him out and everything went downhill from there. They’re fucking dodgy, helped him out of the odd sticky situation and he’s got the debt to show for it.  
  
“They _know_ me.” Robert whispers, “They’ve known me for years and this has always been over my head.”  
  
“What? The debt?”  
  
Robert nods slowly. “And the reason why they want me to suffer like this is ‘cause I tried to snitch on them a while back.” Aaron’s a stupid kid but even he knows that he’s not the wisest of moves.  
  
He’s a bit more straight smart than Robert though, there’s no denying that.  
  
Robert doesn’t look up, his cheeks redden though. “I was in a hole, my ex wanted shot of me and I thought I could make something stick.” He shrugs and Aaron just listens, he doesn’t push. “Turns out I couldn’t. And from then on, they’ve wanted me to suffer and they _know_ I’m too desperate and _broke_ to hand it all over and be done with them.”  
  
Aaron gulps hard and shudders. “I had no idea.” He says, stunned, feet up on the sofa and eyes filled with this sadness. “You could have told me.” He says. “I would have -“  
  
“Cared?” Robert says, and he raises his head just a fraction as Aaron stares at him.  
  
Aaron nods before his brain can think and then the moment is broken by the way Robert winces in pain and turns a little on his side.  
  
“You could have broke a rib.” Aaron scoots further towards Robert, and a hand is instinctively placed on the older man’s arm.  
  
Robert is suddenly overwhelmed with tiredness and his eyes flicker as he gives a half smile.  
  
“That wouldn’t be good for getting Bella back.”  
  
Aaron’s clearly in a weird mood because Robert just saying _Bella_ and not just ‘the kid’ is enough to make his stomach do something weird.  
  
“Can you stop going on about all of that for just a second.” Aaron almost snaps and Robert frowns a little. “It wouldn’t be good for me either.”  
  
Robert just keeps his eyes closed and then he breathes out slowly. “You do really struggle with making anything more than -“  
  
He kisses him.  
  
He kisses a boy, a fucking _man_ for the first time in his life and it’s too terrifying for words.  
  
And he feels Robert frozen against it. He doesn’t move his lips until he does, for the briefest of moments and then he’s pulling away and Aaron doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do now.  
  
He feels like all the colours around them have merged and all he sees is Robert’s stupid face staring right up at him. It’s the only real thing that matters at this very moment and the shadows around Aaron’s mind evaporate as Robert catches his breath, slumped against the sofa.  
  
“I - sorry I -“  
  
Aaron never imagined having to apologise after a first kiss but here he is, acting like a _twat_.  
  
“Did Laura just walk through the door?” Robert says softly, and for a second it’s almost easier to magic up her existence. Aaron shakes his head though and Robert gulps hard like he understands.  
  
“I was just worried about ya.” Aaron says, hands shakily resting on Robert’s bare chest and the realisation strips them away as Robert almost drifts in and out of being fully awake.  
  
“Don’t worry. I won’t hold it against you.”  
  
And Aaron doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say back.  
  
••  
  
They don’t talk about it, Aaron just stays very quiet the next morning and Robert is too hurt to say any wise cracks.  
  
“You alright?” Aaron asks, turns towards Robert who’s practically limping about the place and clutching his stomach. “I could drive you into work if you want?”  
  
Robert shakes his head. “I could have broken my _spine_ and still not allow you to drive my car.” He seems back to his usual self, and Aaron painfully realises that he’s staring at him for a little too long so he turns right back around. “And, you’re alright as well?”  
  
Aaron nods quickly. “Yeah I’m fine.” He says, and then he misses a beat, sounds unsure. “Actually me and - my mates were planning on going out tonight.”  
  
“You were?” Robert says, and he almost has a smirk on his face like he’s ahead of the game. “You didn’t mention that.”  
  
“I have now.”  
  
It’s a complete lie but it has to stick because yesterday was a blip. A fat weird blip.  
  
“Being bunked up here with you is just making me a little -“  
  
“Frustrated?” Robert’s fishing for sexually frustrated as he tries to do his tie up without wincing.  
  
Aaron rolls his eyes and helps him with it, trying to go as quickly as he can and hating how _stupid_ his brain can be.  
  
“I was going to say _bored_.” Not mention the fact that I went and _kissed_ you like a little school girl yesterday, that hangs off the words and Robert nods a little before Aaron pulls away.  
  
“Right. Well, won’t you end up at a straight bar, like with them outweighing you?”  
  
Aaron hasn’t thought about that but it doesn’t matter. He can lie.  
  
“I’ll be alright.” He shrugs and Robert smiles but it doesn’t meet his eyes.  
  
He heads for the door slowly and then looks back at Aaron. “If you get to speak to Bella today, let her know I said hi.”  
  
And Aaron shouldn’t fucking melt.  
  
“Yeah. ‘Course.”  
  
••  
  
The thing is, he doesn’t pull anything more than a face when someone brushes passed him at the bar.  
  
He’s alone, and he’s drinking something too bitter and trying not to think about the fact that he kissed Robert yesterday like he could, like it was okay to do.  
  
This _thing_ of theirs is still cracking on and everyone still thinks they’re in love but they’re _not_.  
  
Robert has his own battles to be getting on with and Aaron clearly thinks it’s okay to just try and see if he doesn’t mind forgetting them for a while. In all honesty, it wasn’t even _like_ that. He wasn’t even thinking. He was just acting on a fucking feeling and it lasted all of two seconds.  
  
It was probably really fucking childish, like a sweet silly next to nothing kiss and he hates himself for sitting here thinking about how it made him feel when it _doesn’t_ mean anything.  
  
Having Bella back means something, and not having her in Robert’s flat and watching them play together.  
  
No, that’s ridiculous.  
  
It’s ridiculous to still be thinking about his daughter a few hours later, so he decides to get back to the flat instead and ignore the idiot who tries talking to him as he leaves.  
  
He almost charges straight back towards the flat without a care in the world, pushes through the door and he doesn’t expect to see Robert sitting there.  
  
He’s sitting crossed legged on the sofa and he’s watching Grand Designs like it isn’t nearly midnight.  
  
“You’re back early.” And Robert sounds almost smug about it, like he knew full well that Aaron would be walking in at this time.  
  
Aaron pulls his jacket off and shrugs a little as he tosses it over the dining table.  
  
“Yeah. Well done for figuring that out.”  
  
“Did something happen?” He sounds like he’s concerned and Aaron just rolls his eyes.  
  
He doesn’t know whether or not to lie and then he just doesn’t say anything so Robert seems to fill in the bloody blanks.  
  
“You didn’t pull?”  
  
Aaron’s starting to feel like he never actually will. What with the drugs past, and his tendency to fly of the rails and hate himself and he doesn’t even want to think about his child-  
  
“No.” Aaron says, sits against the sofa’s arm rest and takes off his trainers.  
  
Robert has a mug of coffee, sips it slowly and then smiles. “Not tonight, you _have_ pulled before though -“  
  
Aaron turns red and kicks his trainers towards the wall. “Of course I have.”  
  
“Aaron -“  
  
He’s a liar. He’s a flipping liar and -  
  
“Just leave it alright?” Aaron snaps, and he’s still flipping red and annoyed and Robert’s _right_.  
  
••  
  
So Robert knows he’s a stupid never been properly kissed homosexual which is fucking fantastic but he doesn’t let it show.  
  
Instead he’s just his normal self and Aaron moulds around him, gets on with trying to make things right for Bella.  
  
Robert gets on with his own life as well, however much he can when he’s involved in this lie. He doesn’t tell Aaron that he’s had to turn down a few meetings because of all of this.  
  
He doesn’t tell Aaron a lot, almost like he feels sorry for him or cares. Either one.  
  
He comes in to find Aaron standing in just his socks on one of his tables and Bella’s wearing a pink tutu, pigtails and she’s jumping about on the leather sofa.  
  
Robert’s mouth hangs open.  
  
“Oh my gosh!” Bella’s hands are over her mouth and she looks petrified suddenly as she points at Robert. “‘Ob’s in the lava!”  
  
Robert looks at Aaron who is too busy playing along, he reaches his hand out and shouts for Robert to hold onto. Robert just keeps staring at him, frowning a little at the fact that his flipping _sofa’s_ are ruined by tiny feet.  
  
“I’m -“  
  
“Come on Robert, let me save ya.” Aaron has his hand extended and Bella crosses her fingers as if she honestly thinks Robert is in danger.  
  
Her little face makes him huff out a sigh, grab onto Aaron until he’s ‘safely’ on the sofa and Bella is bouncing about.  
  
“Hey, Belle off the nice sofa now okay? The lava’s all melted.” Aaron explains, watches her blinking quickly and then she’s sliding down and looking all relived. Robert stares at her for a second and then scowls at Aaron.  
  
“My sofa’s.” Robert says bluntly. “They’re dented because -“  
  
Aaron pulls this face and drags a quilt out from under Robert who clearly hadn’t seen it. “I put this on top of it.” He says, looks almost smug and Robert just rolls his eyes. “Laura’s on her way to come and get her and she wanted to play.”  
  
Robert’s eyes flicker as he looks at how happy and relaxed Aaron looks. He’s got this soft smile on his face, grey t-shirt and joggers. “You’re great with her.”  
  
It flops out and Aaron blushes.  
  
“Thanks.” He says, and then Robert is looking at the pile of his purple cushions crumbled towards the floor. “We build a fort too.” He tries to explain, and before Robert can say anything back, Bella is at his feet trying to take his shoes off for him.  
  
It makes them both look down in amusement, ask her what she’s playing at.  
  
“Taking the mud off.” Bella blinks up at Aaron. “‘Ob doesn’t like mud does he?”  
  
And Aaron blushes, he’s been talking about him too much around her clearly.  
  
“Thanks squirt.” Robert taps her head as she pulls them both off and places them in the shoe rack. “She’s three and she knows where they go. Start learning.” He says, pats Aaron on the back before the younger man looks at him square in the eye and there’s this softness between them for a second.  
  
It’s shattered by the buzzer sounding.  
  
••  
  
Robert still acts like nothing is wrong, like something hasn’t _changed_.  
  
He acts bloody normal and Aaron begins going back to hating him but he can’t right now because they’re in the middle of some Zoo and Bella’s on his shoulders pointing to all the animals.  
  
Robert’s being himself, he’s got a map of the place out in front of him and he’s trying his best to navigate them all.  
  
Laura’s there as well, a comfortable distance away from them all.  
  
“Right, where to next then?” Aaron’s asking, jumper stretched out over his hands and Robert standing there dressed down for the first time in forever.  
  
He’s got a stripped jumper on and Aaron reckons he looks like a bloody sailor but he keeps that to himself.  
  
“It’s up to you.” Roberts says, eyes flickering a little as he squints at Aaron and then Bella waves a hand down towards Robert and tries to take his sunglasses off him. “Oi monkey!”  
  
Aaron’s surprised by how easy Robert can be around her when he’s almost convinced himself that he’s somehow shit at being around children. It doesn’t reflect, it only makes Aaron feel a little more stupid around him.  
  
“Monkeys!” Bella chants, over and over again and Aaron doesn’t take her off his shoulders once until they’re near the giraffes and she’s trying to climb Robert like a bloody tree in her excitement.  
  
Aaron watches them in this ridiculous way and he feels his chest become squeezed as Robert holds her on his waist and genuinely looks like he’s smiling, like he doesn’t find her as irritating as he may have convinced himself he once would.  
  
She pulls a hand through her hair and it’s dark curls fall dramatically against her back as she speaks to Robert like she’s not just a tiny little person.  
  
Aaron laughs at them as he goes off to get some ice cream, and then Laura’s having a word with him.  
  
“She’s very fond of him.” Laura almost observes. “And he’s good with her.”  
  
Maybe she shouldn’t be saying this but she does and Aaron’s legs turn to jelly at her kindness, and the weird reality of what exactly is happening.  
  
He doesn’t want it to stop.  
  
And he it doesn’t seem to, because Robert is happy as Larry when they get home and Aaron is so charmed by it that it honestly aches a little.  
  
Robert makes him some pasta dish and Aaron eats crossed legged on the sofa with a smile on his face.  
  
“You seem less _frowny_.” Robert says, and Aaron looks up. “I haven’t seen kids have that effect on parents before, not like this anyway.”  
  
It makes Aaron feel like he’s a Decent Dad and he just smiles faintly. “It’s because she’s young init? She doesn’t know what’s bad about me yet.”  
  
“There’s not that much.”  
  
And Aaron just keeps his head down awkwardly and has no clue how that should make him feel.  
  
“Piss off.” Aaron laughs nervously, stabs a piece of pasta and then shuffles further down into the sofa. “You can’t stand me.”  
  
Robert frowns. “Yeah you’ve got annoying habits but -“ He shrugs. “You seemed worried when you saw what state I was in.”  
  
“Anyone would have been.” Aaron makes excuses because of course he does and Robert seems to be in a really _stupid_ mood.  
  
“Yeah well it meant a lot so take it.” He pushes at Aaron’s arm and the younger man gasps as the bowl of pasta nearly gets everywhere.  
  
“Whatever.” Aaron says, through a smile.  
  
“I’m sorry about pushing you with the whole - pulling a bloke thing.” Aaron prefers when Robert isn’t being nice to him.  
  
He really does.  
  
“It’s fine.”  
  
“It’s not. I was where you were only a few years ago.” Robert says softly. “And it wasn’t fun. But sometimes you have to just push yourself the first time and -“  
  
Aaron finds himself giving in and suddenly he’s inches away from Robert’s face and he wants to kiss him again.  
  
He closes his eyes and listens to Robert’s advice, only his mum rings him at the worst possible time and Robert backs away anyway.  
  
And Aaron needs to learn that lines shouldn’t be blurred because Robert sort of helps him out with it all later.  
  
“The whole - when you tried to -“  
  
“I wasn’t thinking.” Aaron scratches his eyebrow. “I shouldn’t have been so daft.”  
  
_Daft_.  
  
Robert blinks quickly. “I mean it’s fine. It’s just - I don’t know where your head is at.”  
  
Yeah. Like I do. It screams through Aaron and then he stops.  
  
“I’m just focusing on Bella.”  
  
He lies, but Robert smiles and walks passed him like he’s a-okay with it.  
  
••  
  
He walks into the pub to see Bella sitting on the bar cleaning glasses and waving at him like crazy.  
  
“What’s she doing here?”  
  
Chas comes around the bar excitedly. “Earning her keep.” She jokes before smiling. “Moira was meant to have an hour with her but Kyle’s caught a bug.”  
  
Aaron nods a little, and then he squeezes at Bella’s sides. “Princess Belle.” He whispers and she smiles softly at him before leaning across and holding her hands out so that she can fall into his arms.  
  
Chas warms at the sight of Bella in Aaron’s arms and then she’s telling them to go through the book.  
  
“Marlon can make you something to eat can’t he?” Aaron mumbles softly, hands falling across her cheeks.  
  
“And then ‘Ob can come and play!”  
  
Aaron smiles faintly at her and then lets her slide down the side of him before she races off. He just sort of stares at her going until he feels his mum staring at him.  
  
“What?” Aaron’s eyes flicker and he pretends he doesn’t know what she’s pulling a face for.  
  
She puts him out of his misery though, shrugs her shoulders. “She seems to get on with him.”  
  
Aaron blinks quickly. “You sound surprised. He’s not a total monster you know?”  
  
“I’m not surprised.” She says, only that surprises Aaron. “She must pick up on the way you are around him.”  
  
He doesn’t even want to hear that but she won’t stop.  
  
“I mean you’re not _lovey_ dovey but - you clearly like him so she knows that she can to.”  
  
Apparently she’s some observational sociologist now and Aaron doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say. He supposes it’s a bonus, they fact that they look charmed by each other or whatever, but he can’t help but feel petrified by it.  
  
“Whatever you say.” Aaron goes to leave, only she manages to reel him back in.  
  
“I’m just happy that _you’re_ happy love.”  
  
And he is happy, he’s happy when he shouldn’t be.  
  
••  
  
The progress is going well apparently.  
  
Aaron can feel the difference within him but that doesn’t mean he’s an amazing father or anything.  
  
How can he be?  
  
He’s there feeling sorry for himself when Robert comes back to the flat later than Aaron anticipated.  
  
“Alright boyfriend.”  
  
Oh and he’s clearly pissed.  
  
Aaron rolls his eyes, hugs at a beer bottle and sighs. “You’re merry.” He comments, and Robert smiles at him a little.  
  
“I am yeah. I got a bloke’s number at this work do thingy.” Robert pulls at his tie and then smiles and Aaron hides his face and feels a little sick. “And then I went back to the village and had that word with Andy.”  
  
Aaron’s eyes flicker a little as Robert slumps down next to him. That word with Andy was supposed to happen more than a week ago but he’s still proud.  
  
“You did?”  
  
Robert nods slowly. “About me and boys.” Aaron’s never seen him look so soft and carefree. He can’t help but find it endearing. “About my dad.”  
  
Aaron frowns. “Your dad?” He says and Robert nods.  
  
“Him hurting me ‘cause of it.”  
  
And Aaron gulps hard, a thousand memories of his own crash over him and he pales. “Hurt you?” He manages to say, a few minutes after as Robert looks towards his lap.  
  
He’s sobering right there and then. “Yeah. He caught me nearly at it with a boy and he wasn’t happy, and now Andy thinks I’m making it all up.”  
  
“You what?” Aaron fires, all of this anger pulsating through him as he stands. “Who the fuck makes something like that up?”  
  
And a few rounds of arguing later, Aaron finds himself at the pub making it into some big deal for absolutely no reason he can verbalise.  
  
Andy’s there, talking quietly to Vic by the bar and Aaron frowns at him angrily.  
  
“Why would you think he’d make something like that up?” Aaron’s asking, frowning like fucking mad even more now.  
  
“I don’t know what you’re on about.” Andy stands, makes a point of looking at Vic as he speaks and then back at Aaron and he gets it. “So why don’t you just leave.” He pulls at Aaron’s arm and they push and shove until they’re standing outside the pub and Aaron is still seething.  
  
“He told you something because it was _true_.” Aaron says. “And you don’t believe him?”  
  
Andy scoffs. “You’ve known him for five minutes and you think you know him?” He says, and everything becomes weighted between them suddenly.  
  
Aaron goes to lunge and Robert appears out of nowhere just to stop him. He’s not as merry as before and has his hands firmly against the younger man.  
  
“I didn’t think you’d actually go and see him.” Robert hisses. “Leave it Aaron.”  
  
Andy faces up to them both because he thinks he can. “Take your _boyfriend_ home eh? I think it’s his bedtime.”  
  
Aaron balls his fists and feels something ache in him as Robert’s face falls. “I wasn’t lying Andy.”  
  
“Dad would _never_ have hurt you.”  
  
“But he did!” Robert shouts, and Aaron relaxes under the way Robert is holding him back, a hand begins to stoke over his back and anyone would think they actually _are_ together if they looked now.  
  
“You’re lying. You’re lying because you can’t cope with how you’ve turned out.”  
  
And Aaron pushes him so quickly to the ground that even Robert can’t stop him.  
  
Andy’s laying there rolling about like a dick but of course he has the chance to say something else. “I’m sure Bella will be back with you _real_ soon after this.”  
  
And Aaron hates himself.  
  
••  
  
“You didn’t have to do that.” Robert says, he’s pacing like an old man and Aaron keeps his head down. “I didn’t think you’d -“  
  
“He called you a _liar_ , about _that_.” Aaron whispers, and Robert is more like him than he’s ever wanted to admit. “People don’t lie about that.”  
  
Robert gulps hard and Aaron looks up at him.  
  
“How many times did he hurt you?”  
  
“Just once. I was fifteen and I learnt my lesson.”  
  
Aaron drags his head up. “There wasn’t a lesson to learn.”  
  
“I know that now.” Robert whispers slowly, breathes in. “But then? It made me hate myself so I buried it.” Aaron blinks quickly and moves his hand closer. “I buried who I was because it upset him. Clearly. I didn’t want to disappoint him anymore.”  
  
“You - you’re not a disappointment.” Aaron whispers slowly. “You’re _far_ from -“  
  
Robert looks away, clearly embarrassed or confused and Aaron blinks quickly before stopping himself.  
  
“I never thought I would tell anyone. But - but I _convinced_ myself that it might help Andy understand -”  
  
“And he can’t believe ya?” It still makes Aaron shake with anger because he can’t get _why_ he wouldn’t believe his own brother. “How could he not think that -“  
  
Robert stops, kneels down to Aaron. “You weren’t even thinking about Bella.”  
  
And that catches Aaron off guard, makes him look away.  
  
“I was thinking about _you_.” Aaron says, there’s tears in his eyes. “Being told you’re a liar when you’re not.” He breathes out slowly. “Not about that.”  
  
Robert looks at him steadily. “Aaron -“  
  
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I just - he’s an idiot.” Aaron wipes at his eyes and Robert holds him by the shoulders.  
  
“No ones ever stuck up for me like that.” Robert looks at him, and that at his lips for a second before Aaron shudders.  
  
“Yeah well, we are meant to be in love.”  
  
And he goes before Robert can make him feel anything else.  
  
••  
  
That whole being happy thing is a distant memory now and he hates himself.  
  
Trying to burying things has clearly not worked, not worked one bit because he feels like he’s back in _his_ house and he can’t bring himself to even begin to lie about being with a _bloke_.  
  
He’s sitting up in bed and hugging his knees and hating the world when Robert comes into the room without even knocking.  
  
He’s got a glass of water, just a pair of boxers on and a frown on his face. “Oi. Hey - hey are you -“  
  
He’s _not_ okay. He’s a fucking _mess_ but he can’t say any of that can he. All he does is shake his head over and over again and he doesn’t want to be alone.  
  
“Can you come here?”  
  
And having this, Robert holding him awkwardly on the bed and almost frozen around what he’s supposed to do, it’s enough.  
  
He closes his eyes against the feeling and he doesn’t feel _him_ anymore, he feels strong arms and he smells elderflower shower gel until Robert pulls away.  
  
“What’s wrong -“  
  
“Nothing.” Aaron says, but he’s crying, and he buries his head a little further into Robert’s chest without thinking.  
  
Robert’s hand hovers over Aaron’s head and then he presses down against it and sighs softly. “Come on, is it Bella?” He says, “You’re doing your best.”  
  
“I’m useless.” Aaron says, and he’s got goosebumps against the cold, feels sick. “I’m the worst dad in the world because he was.”  
  
Robert frowns, “Your dad?”  
  
It sort of comes out of nowhere, it stumbles and screams and aches until he’s saying it.  
  
Because Robert is scared. He says it.  
  
“You’re scaring me Aaron. I don’t - don’t like you being upset -“  
  
And it makes Aaron’s chest burn.  
  
“He caused it all.” Aaron says. “Your dad hurt you and mine hurt me as well Rob.” There’s tears falling down his eyes, red and so terrified. “He _hurt_ me and it’s why I can’t be enough for her can I?”  
  
Robert lets go of him, looks straight at Aaron and his eyes seem wet but Aaron doesn’t want to think of it. “How Aaron?” Like he already knows, like he’s always known and it doesn’t make sense. “If you tell me -“  
  
“What, it would help if I told you he liked to force himself into me when I didn’t know any better -“  
  
And _that_ , has been hiding for so long that he nearly passes out.  
  
••  
  
Robert’s good with him, he gets him a blanket and a sweet tea like he’s just told him he’s got a cold.  
  
“It’ll be alright.” He says, like he just needs to say something and Aaron’s calmed down a little now.  
  
He’s not all there though, it’s like he can’t get passed the fact that he’s _told_ someone for the first time in his life when he didn’t mean to.  
  
Robert caught him at a low point and there was almost nothing he could do.  
  
“How?” Aaron’s not crying anymore but his face is almost sticky. “I shouldn’t have told you anything.” He wriggles. “It just came out. Hearing what your dad did, it just made it all come out.”  
  
Because it never goes away. It’s all fucking there but -  
  
Robert just stares at him. “You had to tell someone.” He says. “It - it explains -“  
  
“Why I’m shit?”  
  
“Why you believe you are more like.” Robert speaks up, almost sounds defiant and then he drops his head again. “How old were you, when he -“  
  
Aaron looks away and Robert apologies. “Young. Eight.” He says slowly. “And it kept happening right up until I ran away.”  
  
“You ran?”  
  
Aaron blinks quickly, nods. “As soon I realised what it actually was. I was fifteen when I finally got out.”  
  
Robert remembers how naive he was at that age and feels sick suddenly. He can’t help but look away for just a second as Aaron sniffs.  
  
“I was just a kid, even _more_ of a kid, and I had nothing to do. I had _nowhere_ to go so I got mixed up in drugs.” Aaron feels his chest tighten a little and Robert looks up at him.  
  
“To cope?”  
  
Aaron half nods. “Then I was dragged back to the pub, I was hating my mum and - Holly -“ His eyes water suddenly. “Holly was there. My head was a mess, and she helped make it stop. She made it go away for a bit, and everyone thought we were together.”  
  
“So it helped, being with her instead of thinking about -“  
  
“If I wanted to kiss a bloke. I was gay. It meant _he_ made me gay.”  
  
Robert frowns. “It doesn’t work like -“  
  
“It felt that way.” Aaron stretches his hands over his face, and Robert shuffled closer towards him. “And then she was _pregnant_ and it was - it was the _last_ thing I needed.”  
  
It feels terrible it now to say. Three years on. But that’s only because he loves her so much.  
  
“I bet.” Robert chews at his gums and then gulps hard.  
  
Aaron looks up at him, eyes flickering. “I thought I’d be shit because of him, because he never - never was a dad was he?” Robert shakes his head passionately. “He hurt me so much and -“  
  
He feels Robert scoop him up, bare skin to bare skin as Aaron falls into Robert’s chest again and he feels the older man almost rocking them and it shakes him so much. It shakes him because Robert is the cold and unfeeling type usually.  
  
“None of that was your fault.” Robert says quickly. “And it doesn’t effect how you are with Bella okay. She loves you.”  
  
He says all the right things, but Aaron just shakes his head at him.  
  
“Aaron, does - does anyone else -“  
  
“ _No_.” Aaron stresses, suddenly pushing off and rubbing at his face. “No one. You’re the only one I’ve ever told.”  
  
Robert’s eyes flicker under the pressure of it all and then he gulps hard. “Aaron -“  
  
“They don’t know. They - thought something had happened.” Aaron speaks vaguely. “My mum wanted to speak to him but I begged her to just leave it alone. And then she wanted to again when Bella was born, something about her knowing her _grandad_ and I just - I couldn’t.”  
  
Robert nods. “And Laura -“  
  
“What, you think it could help?” Aaron frowns. “She’ll think I’m a _wreck_ , some fucked up gay kid who was abused so it all makes sense now.”  
  
Because it slots everything into place. The self loathing. The drugs. The pregnancy.  
  
Robert raises a hand and breathes out. “They’d realise that you’re not some waste of space kid who can’t be bothered Aaron.”  
  
Aaron stiffens. “Or I’d just be too messed up for her to be near.” He frowns. “And I am aren’t I? I’m in your spare room and we’re making out as if we’re boyfriends when we don’t even know each other that well.”  
  
Robert doesn’t say anything.  
  
That makes it worse.  
  
“And now you _do_ know. It’s okay to want to run a mile.” Aaron says. “This is the _perfect_ opportunity.”  
  
“Don’t say it like that.” Robert snaps, and Aaron looks at the way his hands are shaking. “You - you were - you were _hurt_ ,” he pulls his head down. “But that has nothing to do with the bloke I know now. It doesn’t take anything away from ya.”  
  
Aaron’s not sure how all of this was supposed to go, he’s never told anyone but hearing Robert be nice to him makes something almost skip in his chest.  
  
“You’re brilliant.” Robert says, out of character, out of turn maybe as well.  
  
Aaron catches his breath, and a hand tentatively holds at Robert’s cheek. “I’m - I’m sorry your dad didn’t let you know that you were too.” He says.  
  
It makes Robert pull his head down, and then he’s silent for a second before he’s repeating himself, being sweet and kind and -  
  
It makes Aaron frown. “Stop.” He says, he can’t handle it, presses a hand against Robert’s chest just to hammer home the point and then he’s shuffling away from Robert a little.  
  
“I’m sorry.” Robert says, blurts outs little. “I’m just so sorry.” He’s out of his depth and that much is clear. “But you’re not on your own you know?”  
  
And Aaron believes it.  
  
••  
  
It’s not like anything gets back to normal because there’s no reality of that actually happening but Robert tries.  
  
Aaron wakes up to Robert making him eggy bread and bacon and if he wasn’t so grateful he would tell him to fuck off.  
  
“Cheers.” There’s a shrug and a half smile but he means it more than he can actually verbalise and Robert seems to get it.  
  
“You’re welcome.” He rubs his hands over a tea towel and folds it nervously in front of Aaron and they don’t say anything else until Robert is banging on about some work drinks he’s got tonight. “I don’t really feel like going.”  
  
“How comes?”  
  
And everyone _knows_ why not. It’s been three days and Robert is still too soft in front of him.  
  
“I just -“  
  
“I’m not a kid you know.” Aaron stresses, there’s no real heat in his voice and his hair is all soft and curled and basically he’s not a threat at all. “I - I’ll be fine on my own.”  
  
Robert watches Adams’s apple and then folds the tea towel again. “Yeah I know that but -“  
  
“I’m not going to break.” Aaron says, hand up. “What I told you, I -“  
  
“I said you wouldn’t be on your own. Not anymore. And I meant that.”  
  
He meant it. Aaron knows he meant it.  
  
“You’re a mate.” Aaron’s eyes flicker. “But I just want to forget about it.”  
  
Only Robert is clearly not on the same page.  
  
“Forget?”  
  
“ _Yeah_.” Aaron looks up. “It’s my secret to forget okay?”  
  
And Robert just has to learn to deal with that.  
  
••  
  
His head is fucked quite clearly, and so he’s sitting here eating a whole pizza to himself and wanting the world to swallow him up.  
  
Football doesn’t work either. It only makes Aaron almost want to cry his heart out again.  
  
Only Robert coming through the door shakes him enough to stop the tears. He looks up and frowns at him in his suit, rubs at his nose a little.  
  
“What are you doing -“  
  
But Robert just slides in next to him and shrugs. “Didn’t fancy it, I said.” He leans over and takes a slice of pizza.  
  
And Aaron gets him a tissue for the mess it could cause, it’s his way of saying thanks.  
  
••  
  
There’s a pub quiz going on and Aaron tries to leave before Robert arrives because -  
  
Well it’s clear _why_.  
  
“Oh come on love.” Chas fawns over him, a little passed it, a little loose. “Look I don’t even mind Robert that much anymore.”  
  
That makes Aaron look up, frowning tentatively and it touches him when he doesn’t want it to. “Yeah?”  
  
Chas nods. “Yeah.” She says, and it makes him smile for a little too long.  
  
Robert is squeezing his shoulder before he knows it and apparently they’re being railroaded into taking part in this ridiculous fiasco.  
  
He sort of hates himself, wants to get _gone_ as soon as Frank starts talking about starting up but Robert only looks at him oddly.  
  
“You okay?” He asks, leans close and Aaron can’t breathe for a second. “You look a little -“  
  
“I didn’t mean to enter us into this.” Aaron hisses.  
  
Robert’s shoulders relax though. “It’s cool with me. We can go though if you’re not up for it.”  
  
Only Moira walks in with Cain and maybe this is the best way to show everyone just how much they know each other.  
  
He’s not up for it but they do well because Robert has a brain in that head of his and a decent education and he wasn’t running out of school at sixteen.  
  
He gets them through the general knowledge stage and makes Aaron forget for a second that he _knows_ about what happened.  
  
It’s what he wanted to happen, for Robert to forget what he was told and it’s like he has. It makes Aaron’s shoulders fall a little and he looks proud as fucking punch when Robert gets his niche little question correct.  
  
He goes to give him a high five but then Vic cougs and he’s kissing his cheek instead whilst his mum looks on, fucking besotted.  
  
The thing is, it’s instinct to want to touch Robert now when it used to have to be forced. Now though, the instinct is to restrain it, a high five instead of a hug.  
  
Robert wouldn’t touch him with a barge pole so he doesn’t even need to worry about anything does he?  
  
What he does have to worry about is the next round.  
  
It’s a couples one basically and they’re up against stiff competition like Tracy and David, you know, the _married_ couple.  
  
Brenda and Bob are there too, unmarried officially apparently but ancient enough to be classified as ‘might as well be.’  
  
It makes Aaron want to run away and even Robert’s sickly sweet charm finishes as the questions are fired towards the others.  
  
It’s all, “favourite holiday destination”, “childhood pet” and Aaron has fuck all to offer up until it heads their way.  
  
“Right now lads.” Frank rubs his hands together and Robert stiffens. “Let’s get started on you two.”  
  
The thing is, everyone else flops don’t they?  
  
Tracy ends up arguing with David over blueberry muffins and Bernice clearly knows less about Daz than she lets on.  
  
And they do okay?  
  
Aaron knows shit he shouldn’t really because it’s not like they have pillow talk, stay up all night and find things out about each other.  
  
It’s clearly just happened _naturally_ and Chas is over the moon about it by the bar whilst Aaron tries to hide his blush.  
  
He’s on a roll, and Robert is smiling shyly like he can’t quite believe it either but it creeps up on you though, knowing weird shit like Robert’s love of Taylor Swift.  
  
“Yeah. It’s - he’d want to go see Taylor Swift or something like that.” Aaron scratches his eyebrow and almost hopes that it’s wrong but it isn’t.  
  
It’s right and Robert goes and knows exactly what Aaron’s favourite time of day is.  
  
“Just after he’s finished work and he gets to see if he can have a chat with Bella.”  
  
He says it almost instantaneously and Aaron’s cheeks turn bright red as everyone starts to make these cooing noises.  
  
“He’d do anything for her. He’s a great dad.” He doesn’t need to say any of this either but he does, and Aaron struggles to hide his emotion against it.  
  
It gets even worse though when they’re declared the winners and everyone goes on about young love and all that shit.  
  
Aaron’s genuinely happy about it, reaches out and hugs Robert close towards his chest, pats his back and sees that the older man is surprised by the affection. He doesn’t want him to be surprised.  
  
“Oh give him a kiss.” Chas leans over the bar, straw in her pint like always and a smile on her face which is almost blinding.  
  
Aaron is a fucking teenager, red and embarrassed as he holds at Robert’s arm still. “ _Mum_ -“  
  
“Oh go on, you’ve _won_ , clearly very - very - what’s the word, uh -“  
  
“Compatible?”  
  
“ _Yes_.” Chas says with a nod. “Go on!”  
  
Aaron looks at Robert like a deer in headlights.  
  
“We’re not big on that.” Robert says. “Aaron’s not -“  
  
Aaron bites his lip, and everyone is already cheering them as winners like they all give a toss. It makes something bubble in his chest and then he’s giving Robert the briefest of nods before he feels hands swooping him up and he’s being kissed.  
  
He’s being kissed properly for the first time by a boy and it’s a proper _snog_.  
  
Robert pulls away after a few seconds but it feels like it goes on for hours and Aaron’s head spins once he catches his breath.  
  
He’s all heaving chest and bright red face and Robert looks absolutely fine. He sips at his pint and tilts his head at Chas.  
  
“Satisfied?” He’s cocky one second and then silent the next when he sees Andy by the door with a frown on his face.  
  
“Rob -“ Aaron says, _knows_. “Do you want me to -“  
  
And the thing is, Aaron _would_. He’d thump Andy one at a drop of a hat really. He’s been avoiding him since it’s happened but now he’s right here -  
  
“No,” Robert turns towards him. “No let’s just go yeah.”  
  
••  
  
Robert decides to throw a pillow in Aaron’s face when he looks at him deep in thought on the sofa later that night.  
  
“Talk to me.” Robert says, like he means it. “Is this about -“  
  
“Nope.” Aaron says, because it isn’t. “Why did you kiss me like that?”  
  
Robert doesn’t know where to put his face, naturally. “I thought you wouldn’t mind.” He says, “You nodded.”  
  
“I know I did.” Aaron’s got heat in his voice, steers off the edge of sounding pissed off.  
  
But when he looks up, Robert’s all pale and clearly confused. “I didn’t mean - that’s the last thing you would have needed, me tryna force my -“  
  
“Shut up.” Aaron says, “It wasn’t like that. I wanted you to. I told you it was fine, it’s just -“  
  
“You’ve never been really kissed by a bloke before.” Robert decides that he’ll just finish off the sentence and Aaron feels his body turn to jelly.  
  
He keeps his head down and starts playing with his hands. “No.” He says heavily. “I’ve always been too scared.”  
  
Robert gulps hard. “It wasn’t that bad was it?”  
  
Aaron looks up at Robert almost looks unsure. He doesn’t have to be. Not even a little bit. “It was decent. Cheers. I suppose.”  
  
He supposes, he means it really.  
  
“You’re welcome.” Robert kicks his legs out awkwardly. “They really do think we’re the real deal now don’t they?”  
  
He gives this smile and Aaron feels light.  
  
“Yeah.” He whispers.  
  
“Me, you and Belle.”  
  
He’s never called her that before, not the nickname that Aaron has for her. The one that makes her his.  
  
It makes Aaron almost crumble inside as he bullies himself into remembering that none of this is actually real.  
  
“Don’t say it like it’s real.” Aaron chastises. “We both know it’s -“  
  
Only Robert comes further towards him. “You don’t like letting yourself be happy do ya?” He says, and his hand finds a place in Aaron’s.  
  
It’s innocent enough but Aaron can’t help but stare down and his heart skips. “Robert?” He says, like it’s a question. “You don’t need to do this.”  
  
“Do what?”  
  
“Try and make the messed up kid feel better about himself.” Aaron says, because he knows what this is and it hurts too much to let it just happen.  
  
Robert frowns, “That’s not what this is.” He says quickly. “Aaron, you’re brilliant.”  
  
Aaron scoffs. “I’m broken.” He whispers. “My own daughter doesn’t even _live_ with me.” He reminds Robert. “What sort of person does that make me?”  
  
Robert looks down, and then up again. “Stubborn. Stupid. The sort of person who constantly doubts himself when he shouldn’t.” Aaron looks away but Robert holds his face by the chin and turns him back. “But also amazing you know? So strong and - _loving_. You have all this love and it’s so unfair that you didn’t get to show it properly and I - I _hate_ that -“  
  
He drops his head and Aaron suddenly realises that he’s crying. They’re hands are clammy together and he breaks them apart just so he can rub Robert’s back.  
  
“Rob -“  
  
“You deserve her back you know.” Robert manages to say with a shrug. “Your little girl, and a nice home or whatever. Someone who cares about you.”  
  
Aaron feels everything vibrate through him.  
  
“I’ve never - never had someone really care about me the way people go on about.”  
  
Robert gulps hard, eyes flickering and then he’s holding Aaron’s hand slowly and Aaron’s letting him. “Let me show what they go on about.”  
  
And with that, he’s hovering right over Aaron’s lips before the younger man is closing his eyes and falling against it completely.  
  
••  
  
Aaron wakes up in Robert’s bed, under his arm, hand spread right across his chest and he doesn’t have a nightmare.  
  
Instead he dreams about Bella and Robert until his heart feels whole.  
  
“You alright?” Robert whispers, looks down at the way they’re both fully clothed yet content with it just like this. He pulls a hand through Aaron’s hair, soft, delicate.  
  
Aaron nods wordlessly, rubs his nose against Robert’s and bites his lip. The covers fall across them, everything feels right for a second and Aaron gets petrified.  
  
“You know, I’ve never felt like this before.” Robert whispers, hands soft against Aaron’s cheeks as he speaks. “Not about anyone.”  
  
Aaron’s eyes widen just a little and then he gulps hard. “I -“  
  
“Don’t need to say anything back.” Robert whispers, and then he leans in and Aaron kisses him gently.  
  
“I’ve got to go work.” Aaron says, the sun streams into the room and serves as a reminder of a world outside of this.  
  
Aaron wishes it didn’t exist.  
  
••  
  
They have another meeting and it’s literally nearly been two months now.  
  
Aaron’s wearing a suit to match Robert’s and it only makes the older man look at him as though he wants to rip his clothes off. Aaron ignores exactly what he feels and backs into Robert whilst in the lift, allows the older man to rub at his shoulders, kiss his cheek lightly.  
  
“You’re getting her back.” Robert says, smiles gently and Aaron spins around to face him. “And then everything will be better.”  
  
He smiles this smile and Aaron feels light. He feels like everything just might be okay and then Robert kisses him.  
  
He likes doing this, kissing Aaron with all he has and they don’t do anything _but_ kiss but it’s enough.  
  
“I’m so very pleased with the progress that you’ve made Aaron.” Laura is there, and so is a board of people in this massive fucking room which makes Aaron want to run away.  
  
They’re all assessing his progress. They all want to _pry_.  
  
“We are aware that it’s been very hard since Holly’s death. It’s why we stepped in when we did.”  
  
Aaron blows out a breath and feels Robert holding his hand under the table. “Back then, I wanted her as far away from me as possible because I was a train wreck.” He says. “But that was nearly _six_ months ago. And yeah, the first few months I still felt the same but now, it’s all different.” He has to fight to look away from Robert.  
  
“Because of the changes you’ve made?” Laura and some other woman flick through a file. “You’re working at your uncle’s garage?”  
  
Aaron nods. “Yeah I am. And I start at that mechanics course in September.” He feels his hands clammy against Robert’s but he doesn’t let go.  
  
“That’s good.” Laura says, kind. “I’ve seen you mature over the years Aaron. Personally I think you’ve come along way.”  
  
Aaron smiles at her. “I’ve had help.” He says. “It’s not been easy I know but -“ He looks right at Robert because he almost can’t help himself. “Robert’s stepped up. He’s helped me deal with who I am, the person I can be.” He looks down and then sniffs.  
  
“Aaron’s not perfect. He’s young, and he’s got so much to learn but so does every parent.” Robert gulps hard. “And he wants that chance. He’s made mistakes _yeah_. But he’s learnt from them, and he deserves to be there his daughter. She’s been away from him for too long. And he loves her. I know you’ve got to do all your checks and everything, but Aaron’s just a dad who wants to be in his daughter’s life, give her everything he didn’t have. It’s just up to you if you let that happen.”  
  
And Aaron realises something almost instantly as he looks at Robert.  
  
••  
  
He gets her back.  
  
Well, he’s going to get her back.  
  
They’re putting the steps in place and there’s a big party in the pub to celebrate it.  
  
Aaron’s cried for what feels like days and Robert’s been amazing with him. He really has.  
  
“Oi.” Aaron’s buzzed, he’s had too many pints and he’s pressed up against the wall of the flat as he looks at Robert. “I didn’t thank you.”  
  
Robert shrugs, all crisp white shirt with a navy jumper thrown on top. He looks fucking beautiful and Aaron’s unbothered about how that sounds in his mind.  
  
“Like you need to.” Robert says, “I’m just glad that she’s coming back to you.”  
  
Aaron’s eyes flicker. “You weren’t meant to care.” He whispers, and apparently being a bit pissed makes him honest. “You hated me. Remember? When I came into your office.”  
  
Robert smiles faintly. “I called you a chav.” He says and Aaron snorts.  
  
“I was one.” Aaron bites his lip. “Then I tried dressing like a _dad_.” He blinks quickly. “And you helped me.”  
  
Robert blinks quickly. “Aaron -“  
  
Aaron comes towards him though, has a hand around Robert’s waist. “You got my kid back for me.” He frowns. “I - I told you about what he did to me -“  
  
Robert gently strokes Aaron’s face. “I hate him for it.” He says, “You know I’d -“  
  
He’d sort him out, pay someone to sort him out more like.  
  
“You still look at me the same.” Aaron doesn’t quite understand it but he wants to. He wants him. He wants Robert more than anything. “I want ya, properly. I want _you_ to make it count.”  
  
Robert snaps his head up, “Count?”  
  
Aaron almost gives up, “I haven’t - I haven’t done it before. Not with -“  
  
Robert’s hands shake a little and Aaron goes to pull away. “I want to.” He says. “I just - I don’t want to disappoint.”  
  
And Robert, the cocky git himself has self doubts and Aaron tries to kiss them away.  
  
“You won’t be able to.”  
  
And he doesn’t.  
  
He’s all soft hands and reassuring voice and Aaron turns to jelly underneath it all doesn’t he? He’s never been touched in such a way, never felt so effortlessly someone else’s and it makes his whole body relax, almost _melt_.  
  
“You good?” Aaron hears Robert say, sweaty and gorgeous, naked and close enough for Aaron to touch.  
  
“Yeah - yeah I’m -“ Aaron gulps hard. “I’m yours.”  
  
And it feels right to say that, finally.  
  
••  
  
The thing is, he’s not a stupid virgin anymore when it comes to gay sex and it feels fucking amazing.  
  
It also feels amazing to have Robert naked, happy and content right next to him like this.  
  
But Aaron’s Aaron isn’t he?  
  
“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” Robert says the right things, he kisses Aaron gently.  
  
He even tells Aaron that he should stay, that he shouldn’t leave the flat once he gets Bella back.  
  
“Belle can have your room, and you can move into mine.” Robert’s worked it out.  
  
It’s only been a night.  
  
Aaron has his bare shoulders exposed under the covers and it all fucking terrifies him.  
  
But he nods. He nods because -  
  
He can’t imagine not seeing Robert’s face ever again.  
  
He can’t run away from him.  
  
Not even if he wanted to.  
  
••  
  
He should be fucking happy, he _is_ fucking happy but there’s always that voice saying it won’t work out.  
  
Aaron’s waiting nervously by the door, bouncing up and down a little and feeling sick because she’s coming back and it’s not like the social workers still won’t be around but she’s going to be his isn’t she?  
  
All properly.  
  
Bella’s running through the door with the social worker and Aaron’s a mess of a man.  
  
“Daddy!” She’s soft, she’s beautiful and he’s well aware that he’ll never deserve her the way other parents do.  
  
He’ll accept that. For this, for her loving him in this unspoilt way that she does.  
  
“You want to hear something amazing buddy?” Aaron’s hands shake a little as he holds her tiny waist and she nods. “You - you get to stay here.” He says, sniffs. “I’ve got you home.” He whispers.  
  
“Forever and ever?” Bella jumps a little and Aaron kisses her head sweetly, closes his eyes and smiles.  
  
“I promise.” Aaron whispers, “I’m - I’m going to try and be the best daddy in the whole world.”  
  
He wants that, he wants that more than anything else.  
  
“And ‘ob can help you make the best ever cookies!”  
  
And just his name makes Aaron’s head spin.  
  
“Yeah. Yeah he can.” He says, and Bella’s eyes sparkle before she falls into Aaron’s chest and he feels whole.  
  
Maybe Holly would be a little bit proud of him after all.  
  
••  
  
“I’m so fucking proud of you, you know?” Robert says, whispers straight into Aaron’s ear as they watch Beauty and The Beast with Bella fast asleep across them.  
  
Aaron’s hold body turns to jelly and he kisses Robert for what feels like hours before he pulls away. “I wouldn’t have done it without a posh looking twat in a suit.”  
  
And they both _laugh_ , like nothing else matters.  
  
••  
  
Robert makes her laugh, he’s got her in between his legs as he reads her a story and Aaron stands by the door still absolutely petrified.  
  
Because - they’ve pulled it off haven’t they?  
  
It’s worked out. He smiles almost faintly as he looks at him.  
  
Aaron looks across the table as he hears a phone vibrate and sees that it’s Robert’s and he feels everything come crashing back down to Earth.  
  
It’s all worked out for _himself_ anyway.  
  
Robert’s still chained to this debt. He’s still on borrowed time as Aaron tries to play happy families with him.  
  
“Are you and daddy married?” He hears Bella ask, and he suddenly hides himself behind the door and watches Robert try and work out what to say. “Because you don’t kiss enough on the lips like you’re supposed to.”  
  
Robert laughs a little and then gulps. “Well - you’re way to talkative for your age aren’t you missus?” She giggles underneath it and then looks at him with wide eyes. “Well I like your daddy very much.” He offers. “A whole lot.” He almost says to himself and Aaron feels his heart swell in his chest and he doesn’t know what to say until Robert’s coming out of the room bright red.  
  
“I sort of heard.” Aaron says, and they haven’t done this have they?  
  
They’ve not actually sat down and _spoke_ about what all this gets to mean. It’s almost too much to get his head around it all.  
  
Robert gulps. “I didn’t really know what to say.” He says. “But I do, like you, a lot.  
  
Aaron’s eyes flicker. “Because we had sex?” He whispers, vulnerable. “I’ve heard the rumours, about you and -“  
  
Robert frowns. “No. Not because of -“ he stops himself and then sighs. “Because I like what we have, me and you and Belle.”  
  
Aaron’s eyes full of his head naturally under the weight of how much he agrees when he shouldn’t. There’s still that fucking voice telling him that he -  
  
“Robert -“  
  
But Robert is already closing in on him in this soft way, kissing him gently and Aaron won’t ever be able to get over how it feels.  
  
“See!” Bella’s there suddenly, she’s wearing her Princess Belle pyjamas and her hair is all over he face as she struggles to move it away. “Like you’re married!”  
  
Aaron’s eyes widen and he’s bright red before he runs at her playfully and gets her into bed again. He hates the fact that Robert seems to find it all endearing.  
  
“Robert.” He says, a few hours later, like he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to even get this out. “You can’t seriously think that - it’s _possible_ for us to do this right?”  
  
Robert’s eyes flicker, he’s making a cake for Bella, a welcome home one or whatever and Aaron hates himself instantly.  
  
“What do you mean?” He asks, and Aaron already knows he’s going to hurt him.  
  
“We’re not together. We’re not - not what everyone seems to _think_ are we?” Aaron says, shudders a little as he pulls his green jumper over his hands. “This isn’t real.”  
  
Robert stays quiet, like he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say. “Maybe at first but - but everything is different now.”  
  
“Why? Why because I told you about my dad, or because we slept together?”  
  
“No, because I care about you now. And her, I care about that little girl too much maybe.” Robert has fucking tears swimming about in his eyes and Aaron still loathes himself.  
  
“But you shouldn’t.” Aaron says. “Because this is just a deal. And you’re _forgetting_ that you’re in debt and I’m your only life line.”  
  
“I haven’t forgotten.” Robert snaps back, moves towards Aaron. “Of course I haven’t. But we’ll find another way.”  
  
It’s like it was an unspoken agreement once they jumped into bed together. He’s in a dream world clearly, and Aaron can only shake his head.  
  
“Robert _think_.” Aaron stresses, rubs his forehead a little. “I know it’s been great, but you have to sort out your priorities.”  
  
Robert stops pacing and then looks at Aaron. “I care about you Aaron, don’t you -“ It’s like he thinks he’s figured something out because he just halts. “You don’t. That’s it.”  
  
Aaron frowns at him, “Wait, Robert -“  
  
“You want to go and risk everything to get the money for me because you don’t want me around. You don’t want me -“  
  
Aaron just doesn’t want Robert fucking dead and if that means doing _this_ , making him think that he doesn’t feel what he fucking _does_ feel for him then so be it.  
  
“I want you to have your money. I want to just get this over with and - no more lies to anyone.” Aaron can’t even look at him.  
  
Robert sniffs a little. “Well we wouldn’t be lying anymore would we? When we go and see your mum, when I go and see _Andy_ , and we take Belle along. We wouldn’t be lying about how we feel would we?” He’s screaming out for Aaron to say something. “Or at least, I wouldn’t be.”  
  
Aaron bites his lip. “I don’t want to lie to you.” He says, like it’s an answer, like he isn’t lying right _now_.  
  
“Don’t spare my feelings.” Robert bristles. “I mean, it’s all worked out for you hasn’t it? You’ve got the kid and the supportive family and the nice place and you’ve slept with a bloke now so -“  
  
“ _Rob_.” Aaron tries, but he can’t even look at him for longer than a second.  
  
“You used me.”  
  
Aaron turns cold, feels goosebumps everywhere. “We used each other.” He tries.  
  
“No. No I - I never used you like this.” Robert shakes his head. “I never hurt you like this either. I stood by your fucking side when -“  
  
“I’m sorry.” Aaron says. “Please don’t - don’t make this any harder okay? We - me and Bella, we can just _go_ and be out of your life and you can get the money you need.”  
  
“Fuck the money.”  
  
“Don’t be stupid.” Aaron hisses. “If you don’t get it to them, they could kill ya. You need me to go and do this.”  
  
“And what if it goes wrong?” Robert says, eyes red raw. “And you get caught and -“  
  
“Don’t worry about me.”  
  
“Oh.” Robert says. “Yeah it’s just that _easy_.” He whispers, and Aaron’s heard the stories. Robert is the cold and unfeeling sort of dick and yet Aaron’s hurt him.  
  
He’s hurt him so badly.  
  
“Robert I -“  
  
“How can it be when I’m in love with you!”  
  
He’s in love, he’s actually in _love_ with -  
  
Aaron’s mouth falls open and Robert offers his heart.  
  
“I know what you’re doing, you’re trying to spare me because you know I won’t let you get me the money I need if we’re together like this.” Robert nods his head slowly. “I know but I - I love you Aaron.”  
  
And Aaron takes Robert’s heart and has to stamp on it.  
  
“Well I don’t love you.” Aaron whispers, “I’m - I’m sorry that I led you on but I was thinking about getting Bella back.”  
  
It’s not true but it has to be.  
  
“I’ll get you your money and -“  
  
“Then you’ll be out of my life? Just like that?” Robert whispers.  
  
And yeah. It has to be, just like that.  
  
••  
  
Bella’s fucking attached to the giant just as much as Aaron is. She misses him, doesn’t buy their little adventure to nana Chas’ _amazing_ pub.  
  
“You made him cry.” Bella pouts, all angry and sad even when she lets Aaron give her cuddles. “He was going to make me pancakes.”  
  
“Well I can.” He can’t. He’s shit at making them but he’ll try.  
  
“Not like ‘Ob.”  
  
And yeah, not like him.  
  
Chas knocks on the door once Bella’s asleep, she’s packed a stuffed giraffe with her and he smiles faintly at it. It reminds him of only one person.  
  
“You two had a barney?” She’s asking it innocently, but Aaron nearly blubbers. “Eh? Something more serious?”  
  
She pushes and prods until he’s downstairs in the living room and not knowing where to put his face.  
  
“You’ll sort it out.” And apparently she’s on their team now, she’s got the pom-poms out. “It’s just because it’s new, with Bella and -“  
  
“It was all a lie mum.” Aaron says suddenly.  
  
Her face falls and she doesn’t understand and it’s not like he blames her but -  
  
“We had a deal. Me and him - we make out as if we’re together, convince the social and I get Bella back.”  
  
The fact that his mum just stares wide eyed at him for what feels like hours makes him feel like giving up.  
  
“What were you thinking?” She snaps. “And - _what_ was in it for him then?”  
  
He explains about the money and she rightly calls him insane.  
  
“I know.” Aaron snaps back, he’s got tears in his eyes.  
  
And that gives the rest away. “So why are you _upset_ , it’s not like -“  
  
But it _is_.  
  
“Oh _love_.” She’s too much of a mum to be angry at her crying son, instead she scopes him up and he cries into her chest like he’s a baby and they’ve never really been like this before have they?  
  
“He wanted things to work but - but I can’t mum.” He’s being honest and it feels _weird_. “I have to focus on Bella.”  
  
“And you have to be happy as well.”  
  
That stays with him, it keeps staying with him as he watches Bella play on the swings and Vic comes towards him with a frown on her face.  
  
“After all he _did_ for you and you just go.” It feels like a slap around the face, one he deserves.  
  
Aaron gulps hard, keeps cool, _has_ to. “We had a deal Vic.”  
  
“Oh _yeah_ , and you both stuck to it didn’t you?” She knows, maybe Robert has told her, maybe she’s just guessed.  
  
“I don’t know what -“  
  
“He opened up to you Aaron.” Vic seems really hurt and for a second, Aaron sees Robert in her eyes. He’s forced to look away. “He’s usually awful with feelings but he was honest with you, and then you go and leave.”  
  
Aaron tenses his jaw. “He’ll get his money.”  
  
“I don’t think he really wants the _money_ anymore.”  
  
Aaron knows that. He’s not an _idiot_. Robert’s gone and convinced himself that he somehow loves him.  
  
“Yeah well, he’ll get it. And then we can just -“  
  
“You get your happy little family and he’s left out in the cold.” Vic snaps. “I thought he was the heartless one -“  
  
“Vic just leave it!” He almost shouts and Bella almost turns around. “Okay I can’t - I can’t do this -“  
  
“What? _Feelings_?”  
  
It makes him wince and he hates himself.  
  
“He was like that _too_. He wasn’t the relationship sort of bloke either, didn’t even _like_ kids but he changed that all for you.” Vic’s eyes are wide as she speaks, voice strained like she genuinely hurts as she speaks.  
  
Aaron’s eyes flicker and it’s not like he doesn’t know all of this. He _does_ know and it _does_ hurt because he’s seen Robert grow as a person. He’s seen him look at Bella with genuine affection in his eyes.  
  
“I know.” Aaron doesn’t even raise his head.  
  
“He was ready to take your kid on, have you move in, for _real_ and -“  
  
He’s heard enough, the guilt pulls over his whole body and he aches.  
  
“I said I know! But I can’t change anything so just -“  
  
“Just stay away from him okay. You’ve hurt him enough.”  
  
And yeah, he has.  
  
••  
  
“Daddy where’s ‘Ob?” He’s plaiting her hair in between his legs and he’s awful at it. He halts suddenly as he hears her and thinks of how much better Robert is at this.  
  
She goes on about him like they were life long friends.  
  
“He’s at his flat isn’t he?” Aaron says, because the last thing he wants to do is confuse her.  
  
“Don’t you get to be married anymore?”  
  
That hurts, sort of twists at his chest a little and he’s not sure how he’s supposed to let her know that they won’t see him anymore.  
  
“We weren’t _married_ silly.” He pinches her sides and she giggles but then she’s looking at him all confused and he sighs. “We won’t be seeing him anymore okay?”  
  
And she almost cries.  
  
“Hey. Hey it’s okay -“  
  
“He thought I was Princess Belle.”  
  
And Aaron just holds her close to him like he can make her better.  
  
It’s not like he can though, because she yaps on about him whilst she’s playing with her dolls and Aaron can only watch her.  
  
“She’s obsessed.” Aaron mumbles, a few days later and Chas squeezes his arm as she walks passed.  
  
“She misses him.”  
  
“She hardly _knew_ him.”  
  
And that’s fair enough of an argument to say, it really _is_.  
  
“I bet you went on about him though, without even thinking.”  
  
“Yeah less of that.” He tells her, only it sort of makes sense because whenever they were alone, he’d go on about Robert and Bella would listen like she understands what it all means. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do because he misses him like fucking mad as well.  
  
It’s why he ends up hovering over his number, looking down and wanting to speak to him.  
  
He never does.  
  
He doesn’t see him until he _has_ to.  
  
Bella’s by the swings and it’s clearly becoming her favourite place in the village.  
  
“How is she?” Aaron’s sitting by watching her when he hears a voice and it’s Moira’s. She doesn’t seem angry with him today, so he smiles faintly.  
  
“She’s good yeah.” Aaron says, _polite_ , staying _civil_.  
  
“And you?”  
  
“What about me?”  
  
“I couldn’t help but notice that you’ve moved out of Robert’s.” Her thinks she might gloat but she doesn’t, instead she looks concerned. “Belle was really taken by him.”  
  
And he gets it.  
  
“It didn’t work out.” Aaron mumbles, but Moira clearly wants blood on the subject and wants to know more, has a _right_ to know what’s happening with Bella so it escalates and -  
  
“‘Ob!” He just hears her little squeal and then she’s off running down the road towards Robert, trying to run at him and there’s a car and -  
  
“Bella!”  
  
Only Robert could do the whole heroic thing and save her life. He’s crouched against the floor, he’s got Bella in his arms and he’s stroking her hair when Aaron storms over and goes through the whole Dad speech.  
  
“You don’t _ever_ cross the road like without daddy okay?” He’s shaking a little and Bella scrambles towards him as she kisses her head.  
  
Aaron can’t _stop_ shaking as he crouches there, hears Moira speak gently to Bella as he looks right at Robert. He’s got a cut above his eye, but he’s also got a few bruises on his stomach that Aaron can make out.  
  
It startles him a little and he drops his head.  
  
“Thank you.” He whispers, and Robert is stronger than he is. He looks right at him and nods.  
  
“Is she okay?” He’s asking, a little woozy looking and Aaron gulps hard.  
  
“She’ll be fine.” He looks up at the way Moira is jumping her up and down a little, her little hands wave down to Robert and he waves back. He’s got a smile on his face and it won’t budge until he’s getting to his feet and wincing.  
  
“Hi you.” Robert tickles her hand and she leans over Moira to wrap her hands around Robert’s neck.  
  
“Careful Belle.” Aaron’s cautious of the way Robert winces a little bit then he’s holding her and Aaron can’t look. “Moira, do you mind taking her back to yours?”  
  
And of course she doesn’t mind.  
  
“Me and daddy missed you -“  
  
“Bella go with nana.” Aaron turns bright red and she waves goodbye as she’s carried off and Aaron tries to raise his head.  
  
The air is awkward and Aaron hates himself still.  
  
“They hurt you again?” Aaron whispers, edges closer and Robert edges away. It stings.  
  
“Just leave it.” Robert says, looks towards the pub and then back at Aaron. “And don’t even think about doing anything to get me the money. I’ll sort it myself.”  
  
“No you won’t.” Aaron knows, he frowns a little and then gulps hard. “Rob I want to -“  
  
“Why? Because you owe me? Or because you walked out with Bella and decided against coming back?”  
  
Aaron hitches his breath. “I explained why -“  
  
“ _Yeah_ you don’t care about me. I get it.”  
  
Aaron goes to speak, and Robert turns to leave. He can only reach out and hold at Robert’s arm, stare at him.  
  
“Go on, I dare you. Be honest for once.”  
  
It’s like Robert wants him to crumble and tell him how he feels but -  
  
He looks away instead, watches him go and then he’s getting out his phone.  
  
“Charlie? Yeah I need in.”  
  
••  
  
The thing is, he clearly cares about Robert. He cares a _whole_ lot because he’s currently in a back of van with a baklava on and staring down at a picture of Robert and Bella at the zoo.  
  
He’s not even fucking look out either. He’s right in the thick of it all. It’s a simple thing really, well it’s a _heist_ , but not a massive one.  
  
“Look.” Some lad Aaron’s never heard of is sitting opposite him, telling everyone what to do and Aaron hates that he’s apart of this world again. “Get the drugs, and get gone.”  
  
It sounds like a cheesy catchphrase gone wrong and Aaron quickly wonders why it needs five men to take part.  
  
He’s also wondering what Bella will think, what his mum will think, what _Robert_ would think if it all goes tits up.  
  
He almost doesn’t need to wonder though because suddenly he’s getting a text from Robert and he can’t pull his eyes away from it.  
  
{ please don’t do this, get out of there if you really care about me or belle. }  
  
The ‘Belle’ does it. He blinks quickly and doesn’t know what he fuck he’s doing.  
  
Well he _does_ , he’s trying to protect Robert, trying to keep up with this deal he’s got going on because it’s easier to make out as if he doesn’t feel what he fucking _feels_ for Robert.  
  
“Oi. Stop looking at your phone.” Another bloke chimes in, and Aaron freezes before he nods and pulls it towards his pocket and puts it on silent.  
  
“Sorry.” He’s not really sorry but he has to keep his head down doesn’t he?  
  
Do the job, and Robert will be safe. He’ll be safe.  
  
It sort of takes over him, nothing else really matters as he gets out of this van and walks right into some warehouse.  
  
The story is, it’s some guy’s drugs, and they’re nicking it all and Aaron will be thirty grand dearer at the end of the night if it all goes according to plan.  
  
Which you know, it doesn’t.  
  
They’re rumbled, and Aaron’s pushed outside with some other bloke to distract whoever has pulled up. They’re asking for trouble, the dick who comes out of the car and straight towards them almost _wants_ be beaten up and -  
  
“Robert?” Aaron hisses, eyes wide as he looks at him standing there all defiantly out of place.  
  
“You’re mental.” Robert hisses, “You _must_ be if you think this will work.”  
  
“Get lost.” Aaron decides, pushes at his chest.  
  
“No.” Robert says, weighs in. “I _won’t_ let you do this to settle some _deal_.”  
  
Aaron gulps hard. He wants to shout and scream at him to leave it alone but then there’s a sound of crashing, and everyone’s running out.  
  
“Oi. Quick.” It’s Charlie’s voice he hears under the mask, he’s carrying something and pointing towards the building that Aaron’s leaning against. “Grab a bag and get out, the place is rigged!”  
  
Aaron frowns, doesn’t even pay attention to what he’s saying as he dives in and reaches for a bag. Only Robert struggles with him, makes Aaron push him off as he passes Charlie the bag and -  
  
The place is rigged.  
  
The place goes on blows the fuck up.  
  
••  
  
He’s pacing the room like Robert usually does and he’s crying, he’s crying and hugging his chest a little because they just _took_ Robert away into a room and talked about having to operate.  
  
Because the place blew up with both of them inside. Someone was in on it, a snake had gone and planted a grenade as some twisted revenge that Aaron’s not even sure about. He’s already rang Charlie.  
  
“You’ll get the money.” He said, like nothing else happened.  
  
“Rob- someone must die because of what happened.” Aaron hisses, chin wobbling as he winces.  
  
Only he doesn’t grass as the police are already hovering around the place trying to get any information they need.  
  
“I don’t _know_.” Aaron lies, holds onto his stomach as he speaks, struggles to breathe. “I just need to know he’s okay.”  
  
Because he was holding Robert one second, and the next the walls were crashing towards him and Robert wasn’t next to him anymore. He was laying flat against a pile of fucking rubble and Aaron was shaking him awake.  
  
“He needs to be okay.”  
  
It’s what Vic and Andy seem to think as well. They turn up, of course they turn up considering Robert is _critical_. Even Andy’s not that cold.  
  
“You _again_.” Vic says, like she fucking means it. “He was chasing after you being a stupid idiot!”  
  
And she says he’s caused his, she shouts and screams until he screams back.  
  
“I’m _sorry_ okay, I - I promise I didn’t mean for him to get hurt. I was - I was trying to help him, I - just want to _help_ him.”  
  
It makes her zip it, sit next to him and quietly sob until there’s news.  
  
There’s news and Aaron catches his breath against it. They’ve had to operate, and he’s stable. Just about.  
  
“Can we see him?” Aaron says, like he gets to and Andy shoots him a look.  
  
“Not just yet no.” The nurse smiles kindly. “He’s broken his leg and we’re trying our best to settle him.”  
  
It makes Aaron want to push past her and hug him tightly. He wants to forget everything else and be there for him.  
  
“Okay.” Aaron whispers, eyes hard suddenly as he looks at Andy. “What?”  
  
“You. Being here. It’s a joke.” Andy stands. “You got your kid back and then all of a sudden, it isn’t working out with the bloke who helped you.”  
  
Vic looks at her brother and then back towards the floor.  
  
“I care about him, _so_ much.” Aaron whispers, and yeah, maybe Andy’s never seen him cry but when he does, the older man’s eyes flicker and he doesn’t say anything else. “I - I’ll prove it.”  
  
••  
  
Robert wakes up the next day and Aaron’s there isn’t he?  
  
He’s by the window whilst Vic hugs at his neck and Andy and him have some long hearty chat. Aaron just keeps watching until they leave and Robert’s alone.  
  
And he can’t _not_ see him.  
  
“Rob.” Aaron whispers, comes towards the bed and almost crumbles. “I’m so _sorry_.” He clings towards Robert’s arm, presses a kiss against Robert’s hand as the older man blinks gently at him.  
  
“Did you get in trouble?” Robert croaks out.  
  
Aaron frowns. “Don’t worry about me. That’s - that’s always been your problem mate.” He almost could smile if he wasn’t so heartbroken by this all.  
  
“I was tryna help.” Robert says, blinks out and frowns. “I didn’t mean to -“  
  
Aaron leans over and kisses his head. “Don’t say sorry to me.” He whispers. “It’s me. I - I shouldn’t have pushed you away.”  
  
Robert gulps hard, “Aaron -“  
  
“No listen.” Aaron presses a hand against Robert’s chest. “I want you to know that I care about you, and I’ve missed you. And I didn’t _want_ to hurt ya.”  
  
“You did.” Robert whispers, strokes over Aaron’s arm. “But it’s okay.” He whispers. “Because it’s better that way.”  
  
Aaron hitches a breath. “No.” He says. “No, last night taught me that I can’t - can’t just be _without_ you.”  
  
Robert looks away, eyes flickering. “You were willing to get mixed up in _drugs_ for me.” He says. “For a debt?”  
  
“You know it’s more than that.”  
  
Robert sighs slowly. “You need to focus on that beautiful little girl of yours.”  
  
“Rob -“  
  
“No, no listen. I’m always going to care about you.”  
  
“You said you loved me.” Aaron unearths it and there’s a beat of unspoken words. Robert’s mouth hangs open and then he looks up towards the ceiling.  
  
“I do. But that doesn’t matter.” Robert says.  
  
And it’s like Robert’s letting him go.  
  
“Bella needs you.”  
  
“And what if I need you?”  
  
Robert gulps hard, “You don’t anymore.”  
  
And Aaron runs out with tears falling down his face.  
  
••  
  
Bella gives him cuddles when he gets back. His eyes are red raw from crying and his mum’s heard the news.  
  
She walks in on him squeezing the life out of Bella and only puts a hand on her hip when Bella wriggles free.  
  
“You could have _died_.”  
  
“He could have mum.” Aaron bites his lip nervously. “He came off worse.” He says, winces a little and points to the tablets he needs to take and the bruising around his ribs. “I saw him, we talked.”  
  
She sits down slowly and looks at him like she’s waiting for more.  
  
“He didn’t want to know.” Aaron shrugs. “And I deserve it.” Chas goes to speak but he stops her. “He reckons I don’t need him, but I can’t let him think that.”  
  
“What do you -“  
  
“I need him mum.” Aaron says, frowns because he can’t just let this go. “And it’s not just ‘cause he’s been there for me.”  
  
Or because he’s my _first_ or whatever.  
  
“I just need him.”  
  
Chas looks at him weirdly and then she’s all emotional. “Then you go tell him that.” She whispers, eyes watering and then she drags him into this hug and goes on about how proud she is.  
  
She’s proud and Aaron’s petrified.  
  
But then he sees Bella playing with her giraffe and he takes it as a sign.  
  
••  
  
Robert’s only gone and discharged himself and Aaron huffs and puffs about him the whole way to his flat.  
  
He’s shaking as well, still unsure of what he’s supposed to say as Robert opens the door and then goes to close it.  
  
“Hear me out.” Aaron says, eyes blinking quickly. “It’s over, okay? They’ve got their money and they won’t bother you again.”  
  
“How did -“  
  
“I paid them.” Aaron says. “I found the dick in your phone and me and Cain went -“  
  
“Aaron, what’s wrong with you?”  
  
“ _You_.” Aaron shouts back, “You’re what’s wrong with me, the way - the way I _feel_ about you. It’s - it makes me do weird stuff.” Aaron pulls his head down and Robert just stares at him for a second. He’s on his crutches, hair a mess, skin pale as anything and her he’s a dreamboat in Aaron’s eyes and it isn’t fair.  
  
“It’s why you should just concentrate on Bella.”  
  
Aaron comes towards him. “You make it easier you know? Being a dad to her, you make it -“  
  
“Aaron -“  
  
“I’m telling the truth.” Aaron shouts. “It’s _why_ I need you. I need you so much and when I thought I’d lost you, I realised just how much I did.” He shrugs and this isn’t fair on Robert but he can’t stop. “I couldn’t - couldn’t pretend like I didn’t anymore.” He rubs at his face, wet and red and his heart aching.  
  
“We were pretending for a long time.” Robert says, still holding the door frame.  
  
Aaron bites his lip. “Not that long, trust me.” He says, “The minute you were with Belle I just - I _knew_ that -“  
  
“That what?”  
  
“I felt something for you.” Aaron admits, like he can’t hide it.  
  
“You don’t need to do this.” Robert tells him, like he wants to _spare_ him but Aaron comes closer.  
  
“I _do_ ‘cause I love you.” Aaron terrifies himself and Robert’s eyes widen. “I love you and I’m not used to that feeling, I don’t know it but it feels real and it won’t leave me alone.” He shrugs, squirms as he keeps his head down and then Robert is suddenly pulling him up by the chin.  
  
“You don’t know what - what love -“  
  
“Maybe not.” Aaron admits. “But I knew as soon as you said what you did at the final meeting.” He blushes. “I wanted to wrap my arms around you and tell you I loved you but I couldn’t _do_ it.”  
  
Robert gulps, stands almost frozen. “It’s because I’m your - you don’t know -“  
  
Aaron sighs. “But I know what kissing you is like, what - being _without_ you feels like and I _hate_ it.” He sniffs, tears falling. “I know that I - I need you to be there with Bella. I know how much she adores ya.”  
  
“She’s amazing.” Robert whispers and Aaron’s face lights up. “Holly would be so proud of you.” He says and then Aaron looks down.  
  
“Just give us a chance.” Aaron’s whispering. “That’s all I’m asking for.” He shrugs.  
  
Robert doesn’t say anything for too long and then he looks at Aaron’s lips and into his eyes. “The guy with the broken leg can’t really run towards _you_ can he?”  
  
And Aaron’s eyes flicker before he moves closer towards Robert -  
  
And Robert kisses him, and Aaron’s reaching up and bringing Robert down into this crushing hug.  
  
He keeps squeezing until he hears Robert say he loves him, and he means it, in this beautifully pure way.  
  
“Go and get Bella.” Robert says, strokes at Aaron’s arm. “I want you both back here if this is going to work.”  
  
Aaron kisses him feverishly. “Straight after this.” He says, backs Robert against his flat wall and -  
  
For a second time, it’s better. It’s less _sweet_ and Robert is more frantically _his_ in this amazing way despite the very broken fucking leg that gets in the way.  
  
“It won’t be easy you know.” Aaron whispers, “I’m still messed up, I still need to tell everyone about things.” He means what happened when he was younger, it’s this cloud that won’t budge. But he’s not alone with it anymore.  
  
He has Belle. He has Robert.  
  
“When you’re ready.” Robert kisses his head and slows his movements down a little so that Aaron can hold him tighter. “I’m not planning on leaving you.”  
  
“You’re not?” Aaron all but teases, only Robert shakes his head slowly and gulps.  
  
“You know,” Robert has a hand in Aaron’s hair. “When my mum died, it felt like I didn’t really have a family. Not a proper one. But now -“  
  
Aaron gets it, he doesn’t need to hear him say it. He just leans over and kisses him. “Yeah, I feel the same.” He says shyly and it feels like nothing can stop them.  
  
••  
  
Two years don’t seem to stretch past them without a care in the world, they have challenges, they ache them at times but today?  
  
“Bella, come and get your dress on.” Robert’s fussing over her, plaiting her hair and delicately putting flowers in and so he won’t let her go as Aaron tries to get her to listen.  
  
“Rob, she looks fine.” Aaron softens as he watches Robert concentrating on her hair. He’s adapted to fatherhood or whatever this gets to be called in this soft, careful way and Aaron adores it.  
  
He adores this secret beautiful relationship that his daughter has with Robert as well. A softness, a beauty, a _wonder_.  
  
“Shh!” Bella moves a hand out in front of her and waves. “Robert’s helping me.” She whispers and Aaron rolls his eyes.  
  
“It might be your birthday but -“  
  
“ _Exactly_!” Bella pipes up again, giggles a little and Robert’s letting her go and she’s jumping into her little birthday dress.  
  
It’s beautiful and _expensive_ but Robert couldn’t resist apparently.  
  
“You’re soft.” Aaron had said, something stuck in his throat.  
  
“Yeah. Don’t tell anyone.” Robert had said back, looking pretty much content with the look on Bella’s face.  
  
Now, Bella’s twirling herself and losing her whole mind once everyone else arrives and she’s getting presents.  
  
Robert is there, making cupcakes and having pink glitter across his cheek and no one would think it but he’s a _sap_. He’s an absolute sap who loves his little family.  
  
Aaron comes from nowhere, kisses his cheek. “You’re hot when you do that.”  
  
And Aaron’s better. He’s more _comfortable_ in himself.  
  
Robert arches his eyebrow. “Do what?”  
  
“Be a family man.”  
  
The thing is, Aaron’s only twenty fucking one. He’s a young kid and yet he has all of this and it’s fucking insane.  
  
Robert blushes. “I never thought I would be but - you came along and -“  
  
“Tied you down?” Aaron kids but his eyes fall a little because they’ll always be that insecurity won’t there.  
  
Because it wasn’t all happiness and rainbows.  
  
Six months down the line Gordon was showing his face and Aaron _broke_ and Robert picked up the pieces. He became this _dad_ to this little girl.  
  
And then it was the police, it was court appearances and trials and -  
  
Eighteen years worth of it all.  
  
“You didn’t tie me down.”  
  
“I didn’t give you much choice did I?” Aaron bows his head again, thinks about all those nights _crying_ , Robert having to be there for Bella when Aaron was too petrified of doing anything wrong.  
  
“You were brilliant with her.” Robert says, because Bella knew she was loved throughout it all. “Like always.”  
  
Aaron scoots closer. “Not without you.” He mumbles, and maybe it’s because Bella’s birthday is in their home, and she’s happy, but he just leans over and kisses him for everyone to see. “You’re already like her other daddy.”  
  
He blushes bright red as Robert stares at him. “You mean that?”  
  
“Of course I do.” Aaron says, heavy, everything rushing at his head as he speaks because Robert _completes_ what they have now. “If you weren’t here then -“  
  
Aaron’s mind travels back, the drug dealers doing all they can to still have this hold on Robert.  
  
Cain sorting them all the fuck out.  
  
It could have been different.  
  
“I’d lose my head.” Aaron finishes, kisses Robert again and they keep kissing until Chas is throwing a towel at them and insisting on the cake being done.  
  
And it is, the one Robert handmade, is carried into the room and Bella’s there blowing out her candles with a massive grin on her face as Vic and Andy and all the Dingles cheer.  
  
“Happy birthday princess.” Aaron kisses her head, and Robert does the same thing.  
  
“You having a good day flower?” Robert calls her that. It makes Aaron melt.  
  
She nods with a smile on her face and then she’s off again, running about and Aaron just laughs at her.  
  
“She’s just like you.” Vic comments, catches him on his own and then smiles at him until Aaron asks her what’s wrong. “You know everyone’s proud of you.” He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say. “But Holly, she’d be the proudest, for making her girl happy.” Vic isn’t old enough to sound wise but he takes it. “And for giving her Rob.”  
  
Aaron looks ahead, sees how different Robert is when he’s around her. He’s still fucking ruthless at work, doesn’t take any shit but as soon as he’s through the door and she’s in his arms it’s not the same.  
  
“She brings out the best in him.”  
  
She’s changed _everything_.  
  
“In both of you.” Vic elbows him, and he can’t help but agree, pull Robert into this messy kiss and tell he loves him again just because.  
  
He breaks out into a smile as Robert says it back, shrugging his shoulders like it gets to be a given these days.  
  
It doesn’t fade, not even when Moira comes into the kitchen and helps him wash up.  
  
“I think I can finally give you credit.” She says, clears her throat and Aaron’s hand nearly slips on the glass he’s washing in the soapy water.  
  
“Eh?”  
  
Moira looks back at Bella and then at Aaron. “She’s happy. She’s _so_ happy and it’s all I wanted for her. I didn’t think you could give her what I wanted Holly to but -“  
  
“Moira.”  
  
“You and Robert are doing amazing.” Moira bites her lip. “Holly would be over the moon you know?”  
  
Aaron nods his head slowly, smiles faintly as she moves in to hug him and he thinks about how far he’s come.  
  
He’s still thinking about when his mum is pulling him into a hug at the end of the night in floods of tears because she’s _proud_ as well.  
  
“You’ve gone through _Hell_.”  
  
“Mum.”  
  
“And you’re still happy.” He hugs her again, because he’s never really realised how his happiness could make _her_ feel.  
  
“I have reasons to be.” Aaron says, “More reasons than to be sad anyway.” And his counsellor says stuff like that. It helps. “And they’re not going anywhere.”  
  
Robert twirling Bella around in the middle of the room, looking completely relaxed in his bright red jumper and jeans and his hair more messy than he usually likes. Bella still looks at him in awe and yeah they’re young and stupid and hapless but knowing that they’ll grow together, grow _out_ of where they started - _pretending_ , to falling to loving - he knows _that’s_ not going anywhere.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you thought if you have the chance to!


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